How internal dialogue colors our perception*
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For days (weeks maybe), Sarah Annie has been wandering around the house, touching things, and saying "Crazy mess! Crazy mess!" It was beginning to make me feel a wee bit guilty. Is there not enough calm and order in her life? Yesterday, Mike heard her say it and without hesitation, he repeated it back to her: "Christmas! That's right, it's Christmas!"
She's been saying "Christmas" to almost everything she sees. And my head was such a crazy mess I almost missed it.
How are your crazy messes? Comments open:-)
*astute insight: Colleen Mitchell
People, Look East
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Guest post by Mary Beth
Through her Eyes: Christmas Gift
/The days from the Solstice to Christmas Eve were among the darkest and coldest of my life. Tears were shed, apologies said. Hard won peace felt fragile. I stumbled into Christmas Eve morning in a typical melancholy fashion. I set about making the customary magic happen, all while feeling like an utter failure at just about everything that mattered. It was not a pretty place to be.
Our plan was to accompany Mike to Midnight Mass at the Basilica. Karoline had chattered all day about the "big church." Earlier this season, we had received a letter from our pastor encouraging us, among other things, to attend Mass at noon on Christmas Day in order to make Christ the center of the Christmas celebration. We've opted for Midnight Mass for several years now and one of the great blessings of that is that it brings the reason for the feast into sharp focus. We are Midnight Mass people. Karoline and Katie talked all day about going to the "big church."
I was exhausted. Sarah Annie has some wicked virus that sounds suspiciously like bronchitis. We're sharing it. My throat is sore. I've slept and eaten very little since that dark settled at the week's beginning. We hosted brunch for 18 people Thursday morning. I caught a quick nap putting Sarah to sleep. At dinner, just an hour before the pilgrimage was to begin, Mike said again that he could just take a few children with him (they'd be just fine while he worked) and I could stay home with the little ones. Michael, looking green around the gills, contemplated staying home as well. Maybe this just wasn't the year to do this big midnight thing.
I waffled. Katie cried. She wanted to go and she wanted me with her. Karoline announced she was going. We went. It is an hour's drive to the church. Mike needed to be there 2 1/2 hours early. Mass was two hours. Then it's an hour home in the wee hours of Christmas morning. This trek is a huge commitment. On the way there, I discussed strategy with Christian. We decided that I'd take the little girls and visit all the small chapels before Mass began, then I'd duck out with Sarah Anne and not even attempt to sit through Mass. He'd keep Karoline under his watchful care. Michael would take care of Katie. Paddy would be in charge of the little boys. I would spend Mass sitting quietly with my baby in the lower church. They would be together upstairs in the pew.
From the minute we arrived, Karoline was stuck to me like tenacious tinsel on tree. We went to the large nativity, where just an hour earlier, her Daddy had climbed inside and tenderly moved Joseph (to get a better shot--but still it touched me somehow that he was worried about Joseph). Been a rough week--doesn't take much to make me cry. At the sight of baby Jesus, Karoline's eyes grew wide. She dropped to her knees.
"Hi, Baby Jesus! It's me. Thank you for all the children in our family. Thank you for making Sarah Annie my little sister. I love you!"
And she was up, leaving the strangers who witnessed the moment with me to wipe their eyes.
It's Christmas.
I decided to try to stay in the upper church for Mass. Karoline wanted to be with me and I wanted her to see the beauty that is Christmas Eve with the Papal Nuncio. She was awed and both little ones were hushed for the candlelit procession. She knew the hymns and sang along. Paddy made sure she didn't catch her hair on fire with the candles. It was a bit stressful. Then the lights came up. And she and Sarah Annie chattered away while they took all the donation envelopes for the rack on the pew and "organized" them. We made it to the Kyrie. And then we walked that very long aisle from our reserved seats in front to the back of the church. Karoline wasn't leaving me for anything. Now I had them both.
We made our way to the crypt church. I knew I'd hear the music and know when to go back upstairs for communion. Slowly, I walked Karoline around the church, stopping at each mosaic to tell her about the saint depicted there. She spent a long time at the nativity, patting the nearby sheep and begging to touch baby Jesus. We saw St. Elizabeth. And St. Anne holding the Blessed Mother with a book to read. We stopped to say a prayer with St. Joseph. Then, we were at the center of the back of the church. "Jesus is here too, Karoline," I whispered, "really here in the Tabernacle."
"In the gold box?" she asked.
I nodded.
She dropped to her knees. I stood in awed amazement.
Thank you Jesus, for Sarah Annie. And especially thank you for giving me to my mommy. I love you, Jesus! Bye bye.
She was off to look at the next mosaic. I was rooted to the spot right there in front of that Tabernacle where the Baby and the King had just touched the tenderest part of my heart and healed the wounds He knew were there.
Yes, thank you Jesus. I love you, too
Immaculate Conception Novena Candle (repost)
/Last year, inspired by this post , and this one,and another like them, I resolved to try to make a novena candle for the novena before the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. My candle is a plain white pillar candle. I used a butter knife to hollow out a "cave" at its base. Inside the cave, there rests a tiny beeswax Baby Jesus. The pure white candle hollow is covered with layers of white tulle pinned into place. White silk flowers and pearls embellish the tulle. We'll light the candle when we say the novena prayer. On the Feast of the Immaculate Conception I will pull the pins and reveal the Babe in the pure, white womb. Then we'll have the candle with the Babe to enjoy for the remainder of the season. Many thanks to the ladies who suggested this craft--my children are delighted and inspired.
Opening Prayer
God, Our Father, you have given us Mary whom we honor as the Immaculate Conception. You have favored her with holiness and purity, freeing her from the stain of sin, to be chosen as the Mother of Jesus. Through her intercession and protection, may we live our lives in holiness and in complete trust of your loving plan for us. Amen.
Day 1
O Blessed Virgin Mary, from the beginning of time God chose you, sinless and full of grace, to be the Mother of Jesus. Because of your unselfish “fiat,” you are for us the example of perfect faith and obedience to what God is calling us to do.
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, help us to be open to the Word of God
in our daily lives. Hail Mary, full of grace…
Day 2
O Mary, Mother of God, we honor you for your submission to the unfolding mystery of salvation history. From Bethlehem to Calvary, you were present to Jesus as faithful mother and courageous disciple, sharing in the mysteries of his life.
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, may we be for others a living presence of God’s joy and compassion. Hail Mary, full of grace…
Day 3
O Mary of Nazareth, you were filled with the light of the Holy Spirit as you prepared for the birth of Jesus. You became the Mother of God and the Mother of the Redeemer, our mother and intercessor for the People of God, his Church.
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, may we wait in hopeful expectation this Advent for the coming of the Lord Jesus in our hearts. Hail Mary, full of grace…
Day 4
O Mary, Mother of the Eucharist, you were in a sense the first tabernacle for Jesus. In your womb his Sacred Heart beat under your Immaculate Heart. You are the Vessel of Honor, the Ark of the Covenant, and Gate of Heaven. Filled with grace, you give Jesus to us that we may bring him to others.
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception,
may we have a deep and reverent love
for Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. Hail Mary,
full of grace…
Day 5
O Mary, Mother of Sorrows, your heart was pierced with a sword as you stood on Calvary beneath the cross of your Son. Only a mother could experience such deep pain and anguish to see her only son die such a death.
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, may we acknowledge that suffering can become for us redemptive and truly identifies us as one with Jesus. Hail Mary, full of grace…
Day 6
O Mary, our Life, our Sweetness and our Hope, from age to age you are called blessed among all women. You, above all others, have a deep communion with God. You are the model of virtue, prayer and discipleship.
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, lead us into a prayerful and deeply authentic relationship with Jesus so that we may be holy and reflect his goodness to others. Hail Mary, full of grace…
Day 7
O Mary, Spouse of the Holy Spirit, your holiness and obedience changed the course of history through the redemptive power of your Son. You give us the example of discipleship and what it means to witness to the Way, the Truth and the Life—Jesus.
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, we pray for holiness, especially as lived through the priesthood and consecrated life. Hail Mary, full of grace…
Day 8
O Mary, Mother of Divine Grace, you intercede for us and lead us to your Son. Jesus said to John, “Behold, your Mother.” You are our spiritual mother, who draws us ever closer to your Son.
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, may our devotion to you increase our love for Jesus. Hail Mary, full of grace…
Day 9
O Mary, Seat of Wisdom, you gave Jesus, the Eternal Word made flesh, to the world. What a privilege was yours—to bring him forth into the world so that all peoples and nations may be drawn to him, Incarnate Wisdom.
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, may the Gospel of Jesus Christ, reach the farthest ends of the earth. Help us to grow in knowledge and love of the Blessed Trinity. Hail Mary, full of grace.
Concluding Prayer
Mary, we honor you as the Mother of our Redeemer, Jesus Christ. O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, we delight in your singular privilege of being born with the fullness of grace, completely preserved from the stain of original sin. Blessed among all women, you are especially favored by God. Confident in that honor we place before you our needs and intentions (name the intention). Through your intercession, may it be brought to fulfillment. In gratitude for your motherly concern, O Mary Immaculate, patroness of the United States of America, we pray:
You are all beautiful, O Mary.
The original stain is not in thee.
You are the glory of Jerusalem,
The joy of Israel,
The great honor of our race,
The advocate of sinners.
Virgin most prudent, pray for us.
Intercede for us with our Lord Jesus Christ.
Amen
(Taken from the Latin hymn: Tota Pulchra es, Maria!)
