The First Day Never Goes as Planned

Good morning! Did you notice the proliferation of back-to-school ads popping up all over the place last weekend? Are you like me? You take comfort in the fact that you're homeschooling, so you don't have to join the crush to acquire necessary wardrobe and supplies, while simultaneously shaking in your shoes as you pull book after book off the shelves in the quest to finally get the plans just right?

Whatever ;-). 

I'm at my friend Sally's this morning, sharing about how the first day won't go as planned, anyway. 

Teaching From Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakable Peace

It is an interesting phenomenon: the internet is dominated by people under 40. For readers of every age, this means that the web is fast-paced and fresh-faced. It’s hip, idealistic, and full of energy. For people like me, well on the other side of 40, it is a source of inspiration and imagination. It is also sorely lacking in wisdom and perspective. So, I’m a bit of a hard sell, particularly when it comes to parenting and education resources. Been there, read that, wrote the revised version from my personal experience.

So, it is with cheerful optimism that I come to you this morning to share Sarah Mackenzie’s Teaching from Rest. Sarah is an in-real-life friend, the kind that has sat on my couch and talked to my kids and confided her heart on my phone throughout the years. There was nothing new for me in this book—I read Sarah’s blog regularly and I’ve had these conversations with her. But it sure is nice to see it all laid out so beautifully and to have a go-to place where I can fill my tank and remember what is truth.

I think my favorite passage was the one where Sarah talked about Peter, venturing out onto the water at Jesus’ beckoning. It was only when he took his eyes off the Master and started looking back towards the boat that Peter began to sink. Sarah reminds her readers not to take their eyes off the Master. And the whole passage reminded me of a conversation I’d had with Sarah. Sometimes, it’s very helpful to see our own advice in print because, sometimes, we need to read the memo.

I don’t think I’d ever have the courage to write a “how-to” book. I write in the “this is what I did/thought/tried and this is how it worked/failed/was revised” genre.  Everything is a trial, a big idea, a tentative step out onto the water. At this stage in my life, with three children "graduates” of our home education experiment and six more still in it, I read homeschooling books rarely, but when I do, I read through the prism of testing whether the advice holds true, whether it is sound over the long haul.

Sarah’s clear, optimistic advice is excellent. She’s right and a mother who adapts Sarah’s philosophy to her own family culture will most likely have a recipe for success in both her educational and relational endeavors. Truth is truth and what is true for someone in her early thirties, still in the baby-bearing and curriculum choosing state of life can be true in one’s late forties when the babies are grandchildren only on a visit and the curriculum is pulled from bursting bookshelves groaning under years of hopeful purchases.

I did hit one bump along the way in my reading, one place where I stopped nodding and had to think long and hard about whether her words held true for me. She writes,

Much of our anxiety in homeschooling could be side-stepped by simply acknowledging who we are trying to please. It sounds too simplistic, I know. But consider that your day- what you prioritize, what you don't- will likely look different depending on whether you are doing it all for His pleasure, or doing it all (or only some of it) to please Grandma, the neighbor, or anyone else.

and later

Whether or not you finish your curriculum, get through all the lessons in the book, or do as much as you set out to do doesn't really matter. Pacing doesn't matter. Change the way you assess your success. The quality of the encounter is what matters.

And then this

Furthermore, there is no reason why the 6th grade math book must be mastered between September and May during your child's 12th year of life. Some bureaucrat somewhere made that up. You don't work for the bureaucrat. You work for God. Funny thing about Him- He doesn't operate on the school district's schedule.

That’s not quite the way I see it these days.

Here’s the thing: we are not accountable to our neighbors or to Grandma or even to the bloggers whom we read for inspiration. That is most definitely true. And at the bottom bottom, we are accountable only to God. However, two realities to consider make this a little more complicated than it might appear at first. It does sort of matter when you get through the sixth grade math book, because after the sixth grade math book there is the seventh grade math book and after that there is algebra and geometry and the SAT. And though Sarah makes it very clear that  no one is called by God to ace the SAT, there is someone who is likely to hold the homeschooling mom accountable. That someone is her child, now grown to a young adult.

He needs to take that test in order to go to college and if he wants to go to college with his peers, we need to be certain that he’s in a position to confidently approach the test knowing that he’s been held to a certain discipline throughout the years which has brought him to mastery of the topics. So, yes, there is a finite place where it matters what has been completed and the best way to get to that place without making oneself crazy is to be faithful towards working diligently throughout the school years.

The second reality is that when we endeavor to educate a child at home, the buck stops with us. And when that child is grown, he is going to look back at his schooling and hold us accountable for its success or failure. Is that right or just? Perhaps not. It is true that only God can hold us accountable. But in the day-to-day living out of relationships within a family, the idea that our children now grown will want to evaluate their unconventional upbringing is one for which home-educating parents should be prepared. The delicate dance of relationship about which Sarah writes so eloquently and to which she gives such priority will bring every mother and child to a moment of reckoning when he looks at the gift of his education and to the choices his parents made on his behalf and he weighs it and measures it.

If he is limited in what he wants to do on the brink of young adulthood by the decisions made prior to that time, the greatest challenge of all will be to persuade the child that there is a bigger picture than moment in which he finds himself and there are still greater lessons to learn. It will be a time where both parties—mother  and child—take an adult inventory and both see where they have fallen short. When the moment comes--and it will come--you might not have peace right away. You might have to struggle and wrestle and repent and forgive. 

There is no question: there will be gaps and failures and inconsistencies and wide learning curves. This is the place where the time put into relationship is a worthwhile investment. It’s always startling for a grown child to recognize that parents are human and they make mistakes and they stumble and sometimes even fall. It’s incredibly humbling for a parent to survey the hard work and well-intentioned path of an entire childhood and to see that she could have (should have?) done some things differently. When two people who have lived in such close community and learned so much together over such a long time reach that moment, they will both need to rest in the knowledge that God’s got this or else their universe might just explode.

And that's why the message in this book is so important.

If we are resting in God, all will work together for the good. The whole of this book speaks to the greatest good. The advice is sound—from curriculum choices to scheduling decisions. It will all work for the good even if he didn’t finish his math book in the sixth grade. (But it might not be quite as simple and peaceful and idealistic as Sarah suggests.)

I think this book is an invaluable resource—to moms just starting out and to moms who need refreshment along the journey. It is well worth the very affordable price to invest in the whole bundle and spend some time this summer truly refreshing and re-evaluating and learning how to lean into God. The gift of the book is that it begs a mother to let Jesus fill all the spaces in her heart and her mind so that He spills out into the ordinary moments and fills the ordinary days and ultimately creates an extraordinary childhood.

I have a copy of Sarah’s book to give away and with it, also the very useful companion journal and four invaluable podcasts with four excellent mentors. Just leave me a comment below and you’re entered to win! Winner announced here next Friday.

In the Book Basket for Lent

Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him; and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? (Isaiah 58:6-7)

We're gathering books, settling in,

giving thanks for yet another storm, perfectly timed to still us

before Lent begins. 

The Little Rose of Sharon by Nan Gurley

This is the story of a rose whose outward appearance is so beautiful that it pleases the Creator Himself. The little rose learns that her life isn't all about what she holds here on earth and she sacrifices her lovely rose petals (her most prized possesion) to save a baby dove.

Petook by Caryll Houselander This story begins with Petook the Rooster and his wife Martha hatching 12 fluffy new chicks. They live a happy life in the garden until they a frightened when a young boy walks toward Petook and his family. No need to worry; it is a kind boy who years later hangs on a cross Petook can see in the distance.This is a classic Houselander story of Easter and new life. 

The Jesus Garden: An Easter Legend

 The passion of Christ can be a very frightening subject for young children. The grim reality of death is a difficult one for tender hearts.  This story takes on the task and follows Christ's passion from the perspective of the plants and flowers in the garden. Parent and child can follow the Passion from the agony in the garden all the way to the resurrection in a much more soothing way. 

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The Easter Swallows

Also in the garden a pair of swallows are building a nest. Lovely text and illustrations. (Worth hunting down.)

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Twice Yours by Nan Gurley

 This absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful, both in story and pictures. A little boy invests his whole heart in buliding a small sailboat. He loses it and someone else finds it and then he sacrifices to regain it.    

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The Story of the Cross by Mary Joslin

  This lovely volume can be read again and again throughout Lent to bring the Stations of the Cross alive to children in an appropriate and reverent manner. I really love this one.

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The Easter Story

 I'm so sad this one is unavailable. 

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Benjamin's Box: The Story of the Resurrection Eggs by Melody Carlson

 Benjamin is a little boy who travels along with jesus and discovers who he really is. Fun story and can be even more fun when used with Resurrection Eggs.

Amon's Adventure

Just perfect for my current 13-year-old

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Tale of the Three Trees by Angela Hunt

  This story follows three trees who dream of being big, marvelous things when they grow old enough. Their dreams appear to be crushed, but then they recognize that they were made for bigger things than they could imagine.

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The Proud Tree by Luane Roche

 This storyline is similar to the one of the three trees. Rex thinks he's a tree worthy for a king. But is humbled when he gets cut down to become a cross for a crucifixion and learns who Jesus, the real king, is.

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A Tale for Easter

Tasha Tudor is always so wonderful. *Not overtly religious.

The Thornbush

 An ugly thornbush growing in Jerusalem becomes a crown for the King of Kings.

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The Very First Easter by Paul Maier  this is a lengthy book with lots of biblical quotes and beautiful illustrations. Lots of details in this one. 

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The Easter Story by Brian Wildsmith    This story of Easter is told through the eyes of the little donkey who carried Jesus through the streets on Palm Sunday. Beautifully illustrated and sure to please all ages.

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Through the Eyes of John This is Mary Beth's favorite.

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The Story of Easter by Mary Joslin this story follows the whole timeline of Jesus from the Annunciation to the Resurrection and helps your child to understand Jesus' whole life.

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Little Colt's Palm Sunday

  Palm Sunday is recounted through the eyes of the colt who carried the King of Kings--Jesus himself--through the streets of Jerusalem.  

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Legend of the Easter Egg by Lori Walburg  Learn what Easter is really about as you follow the beloved characters you may already know from The Legend of the Candy Cane from the same author. When Thomas' sister, Lucy, falls sick, he goes to stay at the Sonneman's candy store and there he learns the story of Easter. 

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Legend of the Sand Dollar

 When Kerry's family takes a trip to the beach she learns all about the story of Easter through a small beach treasure, the sand dollar.   

Psalms for Young Children I pray Night Prayer with my little ones, every night, using the Divine Office app. This sweet book brings the psalms to children in a lovely way. I think we'll use it during Lent to stop at those scared pause points and pray the psalms just a little together all day long.

When I listen to you God,

When I do what you ask me to,

I am like a tree

Planted by a river,

a tree full of fruit

that is always green.

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The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes by DuBose Heyward

 this story is about a momma bunny who wants to be one of the official Easter Bunnies but first must prove herself to the wise Grandfather bunny. Mike's sister gifted this to us years ago and it is a perennial favorite.

Just The Way You Are

: We've spent a lot of time in our family room recently discussing the fact that we don't "do" Lent for God. We "do" what we do to draw closer to Jesus, to learn to lean on Him more heavily. We don't offer alms and sacrifice to earn God's love. Instead, we look to Lent as period of growing more Christlike. Those sacrifices are made so that we can be the hands and feet of God here on Earth. This sweet book is one of unconditional love, not earned affection. And I have such a fondness for Max Lucado's children's books!

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The Easter Egg

. Another that isn't religious, but sure is a sweet read. I do love Jan Brett.

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Rechenka's Eggs by Patricia Polacco

 My children love to listen along in this delightful tale as Babushka she prepares her eggs for the Easter Festival. During this story, Babushka takes in an injured goose who teaches her that miracles can happen. 

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The Egg Tree by Katherine Milhous Katy and Carl go on an egghunt while visiting their Grandmother's house and Katy has no luck finding any eggs. She ends up searching the attic where she finds very special eggs her Grandmother  painted when she was a little girl. 

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Easter Eggs for Anya Decorating beautiful Easter eggs was something Anya loved to do and was very sepcial to her family. But with Papa away at war, Anya's family is very poor and will not be able to purchase eggs to decorate this year! When Anya stumbles upon a nest of goose eggs she thinks she will be able to decorate eggs after all, but God always has a bigger and better plan.  

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At Jerusalem's Gate: The Poems of Easter: Absolutely gorgeous poetry that puts us in Jerusalem with Jesus on those last days. 

Until he turns and drinks me in.

I gasp, a-tremble,

grasp a palm frond

and wave in a frenzy of praise and adoration,

singing Hosanna!

Hosanna! Hosanna!

as if my very life depends upon it.

The poems take the older child through Holy Week with compelling imagery. This one is new to us this year and I'm excited about it. I have some plans for copywork, illustrating, illuminating, jouranling, and trying our hands at some poetry writing of our own. 

My Path to Heaven

 this "retreat-in-a-book" is geared toward kids 9-12. As they learn the truths of their faith and are called to live lives of holiness with these newfound truths. 

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Passover: Celebrating Now, Remembering Then For years, our children celebrated a Christian Seder dinner. Then, a few years ago, some women persuaded me that that was "wrong." We stopped doing it (that was my season of undue influence of other people). Here's the thing: it was memorable. My kids can tell you about the plagues of Egypt because we chanted them at a Seder. They wink and ask if we're expeciting Elijah whenever there's an empty place at the table. They learned so much, absorbed it down to their bones. We had a family meeting just the other day. Passover is back on the table. This book will truly bring the experience into sharp focus. It is written from a Jewish perspective. For online resources for cooking and celebrating a Christian Passover, click here. This is a good overview and we've used this script with a crowd of children, so it's definitely field-tested/

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Lenten Devotionals for teens and grownups and families:

Show Me the Way This one is reflections from Henri Nouwen

Lent and Easter Wisdom from Fulton Sheen I like this whole series of both Advent and Lent meditations. Beautifully curated wisdom from spiritual guides like Pope John Paul II, St. Francis and St. Clare, St. Benedict, St. Ignatius,

Bringing Lent Home With Mother Teresa Beautiful suggestions here in the generous spirit of Mother Teresa

Bringing Lent Home with St. Therese This is a very affordable devotional with prayer and reflections and activities for the whole family from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday. There is a great deal of spiritual depth here, all in the gentle, humble little way of St. Therese. 

Peace in Our Day

I've been sharing resources with you in the afternoons, trying to offer a little reflection of our days. This morning, I read three books with my children over breakfast. 

A few years ago, my mother attended a book signing by author A. B. Curtis. She bought a book for my children and mailed it to them. I have to admit I was skeptical of a children's book about the tragedy of September 11, 2001. How do you capture the horror in rhyming verse and whimsical pictures? You don't. Instead, Ms. Curtis tells the story of St. Paul's church, an historical church that stands fewer than 100 yards from where the towers stood. The chapel became a refuge and launching point for the rescuers who were on the scene. Every time I read the book tears well in my eyes at the thought of the fireman who hung their shoes on the chapel fence before they went into the towers:

Oh what gallant men did we lose

Who never came back to get their shoes!

The book is a gentle re-telling. Our children are surrounded every day by references to the horror that forever changed our world. They will ask what "9/11" means and they surely deserve to be answered. But, they should not see that footage and they should not be bombarded with remembrances more appropriate for grief-stricken, terrorized adults. Childhood is all too brief. Very soon, they will be old enough to learn the details of the day. For now, this book tells them a story of hope amidst the charred ruins. A story we all need to hear.

You can read the entire book and see the pictures here. But get the book. Really. It's worth holding in your lap.

Fireboat is a whimsically illustrated children's book that tells the story of John J. Harvey, a fireboat that witnessed the growth of New York city throughout the 20th century. There are lots of intersting little things to learn about culture and about fireboats. It's a gentle, happy picture book. Then, the book takes an abrupt turn and becomes stark when the author reaches September 11, 2001. She focuses onthe heroes and not on the violence, but this is still a very realistic book and the whimsy evaporates into the bright blue sky, just as it did that Septmember day. It's a good read and it's  story that somehow sticks with us long after the covers of the book are closed. I strongly suggest parents preview it--you might you want to use it with children older than the typical picture book age.  To extend the conversation, you might visit the John J. Harvey website or take a peek at the study guide for the book.

It's not technically a 9/11 book, but I love to read (sing) Wendell Minor's inllustrated version of America the Beautiful. On the page where we sing, "Thine alabaster cities gleam/Undimmed by human tears" Minor has painted a picture of the fallen tower site with the towering lights gleaming upwards to commemorate the loss. It's an image that just fits that particular place in the song written so long before the event. And this book, this song, these words--they do so much to heal hearts and remind us of the blessings of this great country.

Nicholas squirreled away for awhile with  A Nation Challenged (the Young Readers' Edition).

* ~ * ~ *

Then, this afternoon, we all sat together and spent some time thinking about peace. We were guided by one of the excellent e-courses offered by Mariah Bruehl, author of Playful Learning, easily one of my favorite educational resources. 

This course, Be a Peacemaker, is an opportunity for parents and children to discuss with each other ways to bring peace into ourselves, our homes, and ultimatley, the world.

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Over the course of conversation, we shared what comforts us, what brings us peace. I could see Katie plotting ways to make the house smell like the Basilica next time she thinks I need to bring a little calm into my soul. At first, I was going to exclude Stephen and Mary Beth from the lesson time, but I invited them to  join instead. As she set off with her printable, Mary Beth (nearly 17) asked, "Will you use this to help us next time we feel stressed?" Good plan. I think these are keepers, for sure.

Have a very peaceful evening friends!

Meet The Art History Mom

This afternoon, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Kristen Nelson, The Art History Mom. Kristen's website is a treasure trove for all moms, homeschooling or not. Please take a few minutes and get acquainted. There's nothing to buy. Everything she offers is absolutely free of charge.

Who?

Artistic roots.

Growing up in New Orleans, Kristen was exposed to all sorts of wonderful music, architecture, art, and people. Her passion for art was born in her teen years, when she attended Metairie Park Country Day, a school with an excellent art curriculum. In college she studied fine art and art history at Colorado State University. During this time she spent her first summer in Italy studying Renaissance frescoes. If she wasn’t hooked on art before, that surely did it!

In her late 20s, she took a break from her high-pressure advertising career in Atlanta to follow her dream of living in Italy. Through an amazing job at Trinity College’s Elderhostel program, she led tours of the Italian art scene throughout the country from her base in Rome.

Museum match-making.

Two years later she returned to the States and resumed her career in graphic design. She met her husband, Christian, on a blind date. Not knowing anything about her, he suggested they meet at Atlanta’s High Museum of Art. The first time they met face to face, they were standing under the gaze of a Rodin sculpture.

Christian is a golf enthusiast who works in finance, but he loves art as well. His favorite period is Soviet Constructivism. Hers is Italian Medieval. What’s yours? If there is a certain genre, work of art, or artist you’d like to see featured in her blog, please head over and let her know. She’ll do her best to oblige you.

Friends in artsy places. 

To make sure Kristen gets all of her art history facts straight, she consults with her beautiful and brilliant friend, Monica Shenouda, who currently lives in Florence. Kristen and Monica worked together in Rome. Since then, Monica’s earned her doctorate in art history from the University of Virginia. When Monica’s not teaching for Pepperdine University’s Study Abroad program, you can find her giving tours of places like the Uffizzi Gallery for Context Travel. Kristen likes to think that her art blog is a way for all of us to break from the daily routine and join Monica in Italy, where artistic tradition is so deeply rooted.

Why?

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” Henry David Thoreau

Art is so important. More than merely looking at pretty pictures or objects, it’s about learning how to see. This means recognizing beauty not only in art, but throughout the world around us. Although some people enter this world with the eyes of an artist, the ability to see is a learned skill anyone can acquire, especially impressionable children.

Think about the many images our kids are exposed to on a daily basis. Just to name a few: loud, often violent video games; over-stimulating TV commercials; and visually cluttered billboards hovering above as they ride in the back of our SUVs. But how many of these images actually give meaning to their lives? Or elevate their hearts and minds?

A lifelong gift.

Kristen's mother-in-law, Carol, tells an interesting story. When Carol was 7 years old living in Pensacola, Florida, just after World War II, her mother spent $25 (a small fortune at the time) on an art book filled with photos of masterpieces. It was placed prominently in the living room.

Her young daughter, Carol, quickly discovered the great treasure and was soon spending hours devouring its contents. The pages were filled with a beauty and mystery that fed her soul for years—after all, she didn’t have an iPad! Carol would gaze at the people in the paintings, make up stories about them, and imagine what it would be like to be part of their worlds.

Kristen's mother-in-law, Carol, holding her childhood treasure.

Later in life, when visiting museums, Carol would point and exclaim, “That’s Raphael!” or “Look at that gorgeous landscape by Turner!” Because Carol shared her artistic enthusiasm with her son, when he became Kristen's husband, they were able to enjoy art together. Now they're intent on passing this appreciation on to their children.

Great art is a click away.

It’s Kristen's hope that her blog will help you foster a deep affection for art in your child, too. Sadly, young people in America are under-exposed to images that enlarge their worldview in an inspiring way. And unless you live in a major metropolitan city, it’s difficult to visit museums to show your kids great paintings, sculpture, and architecture.

That’s why Kristen is bringing the masterpieces to you! She’ll cover all genres, posting different works of art along with kid-friendly talking points. Discussing art can be intimidating, so Kristen will make it easy for you. And although copyright restrictions exist for works created within the last 90 years, modern art will be included whenever possible.

As a parent, your part is to look at the images with your child and discuss what you see. (Kristen loves to hear your comments, and your children’s!) The featured pieces will be followed by a related art project, enabling your little ones to create something beautiful, while reinforcing what they’ve learned.

Along the way, your kids will expand their vocabulary and gain useful knowledge about geography and culture. I hope that together you discover not only the joy of art, but the joy of exploring it side by side.

So, are you with her?

If so, please subscribe here. It's free:-)

How?

So, how do you get the most out of this website? Here are a few tips.

1. Show your excitement. As parents, we all know that our children imitate our attitudes and actions. (Don’t you hate that sometimes?) That’s why it’s important for you to model enthusiasm. It sounds obvious, but if you are excited about viewing and discussing art, your kids will be, too.
2. Read before you share. I highly recommend reading the blog post before you share it with your kids. Take into consideration the ages of your children and plan accordingly. For little ones, you may only want to show them the images and talk about the colors and shapes you see. My 5-year-old likes to look at the artwork and go straight to the Fun Facts section. Tweens and teens might need a little more substance so they can explore the links within the post.
3. Timing is everything. If your kids are like most, as soon as you sit down with your laptop or tablet they are on top of you. This is the perfect time to pull up Art History Mom and explore a recent post together.
4. Allow interest to build. When first introducing her site to your kids, keep it short and sweet. The more art history I show my children, the more enthusiastic they become—but it takes time. You might want to start with a specific blog post your child will find interesting. Show them the images and point out a few engaging facts. Each time you visit the blog, spend a little more time. The point is to keep it positive so your kids will want to revisit the site and explore more art.
5. Tools of the trade. At the beginning of each post you’ll see a link to a page of flash cards. Print these out and cut them along the dotted lines. Then have your child write the answers to the questions on the back of each card as you review the post together. You can use them throughout the week for pop quizzes!
6. Pause for questions. You can read the post to your child or let him or her lead. If you’re guiding your child through the post, don’t forget to pause after the questions, giving some time to think and answer.
7. Display the art. Print out the featured artwork and post it in a prominent place in your home for a week or so. It will reinforce the lesson and you can engage your child by asking them questions about the artwork.
8. Bigger is better. Although this site is smartphone-friendly, you’ll have a better experience viewing the posts on a desktop, laptop, or tablet.
9. Homeschooling. If you’re a homeschool mom, I would be overjoyed if you choose to use this site as part of your curriculum. Incorporate it into your weekly routine and designate a special morning or afternoon to learning about art history.

Click here to see Kristen's full site!