Why Blog?

Why do we blog? Wrong question. I can't answer that. I don't know why some people blog. There are as many reasons to blog as there are people, I suppose. Why do I blog? I've been trying to articulate the answer to this question for myself. I'm considering the answer in light of the quotes from Thomas a Kempis that Colleen shared in this post. I've made a note of those posts for the sidebar here on my blog. I like them there: they encourage me to share, but to do so with thought and care and caution and prudence. But what do I share?

Do I share the bad days, the ugly underbelly of life with lots of people? Do I share the failings, kind of like a virtual confession? Do I share the plans gone awry and the sin that ensues? Do I share the fear and the illnesses and the general muck of life? Sometimes. But when I do that, I do it with an eye towards something else. I might share the grief, but only to get to the glory. Because it's the glory that's of Him!

I blog to share the joy.

And there is joy to be had in every moment of every day. Rebekah writes :

In the pressing moments of the day, where sorrow, sadness, anddisappointment may dwell; where thoughts and fears fill the heart, there is beauty...there must be. That is why this corner of the blogworld is mine. There is a need for the soul to look toward the sun, to find the tiny bud blooming in the cold, to hear music through the noise. Beauty must be sought after, although at times it reveals itself without warning or announcement. I will purposefully run after it and dig for it if I must. It is small and simple, huge and glorious...everywhere it is. There is beauty in my day, joy in the moment and in each breath. It waits around a corner, smiles beyond the glass, and whispers with tears.

We can claim a spot for ourselves in this blogworld--a spot that illuminates the beauty of the days, the hours, the moments of this life lived in pursuit of holiness. We can persevere in writing about the joy. To do so doesn't deny the ugly, the bad, or the sinful. Instead, to do so is to glorify the redeeming power of our Savior and the goodness He has planned for us in every moment. No one wants to suffer. No one really wants to sin. No one wants to fall or to fail or to falter. But we do. We all do. It goes without saying. I blog to give voice to what comes next. I blog to say that God is good. And He is real and He is present and there is tangible grace and beauty in every single corner of our lives. So celebrate it. Dance for joy! Sing for joy!

Write for joy!

God is good. Tell the world.

Forever in Blue Jeans...

Last week, I ordered Mike some new jeans. It had been some time since the last jeans. I'm fairly certain his jeans were older than our last two children, maybe our last three. He was pleased to know that I ordered the exact same size as last time, slightly different style. In the elevator on Thursday, on our way to the midwife (the height of romantic outings these days), I admired his person in those brand new jeans. He definitely wore those jeans well. Perhaps just to be kind, he turned his attention to my jeans. He said something sweet and appreciative, without sounding completely unbelievable to this eight months pregnant mommy. And I told him that I was wearing "vintage jeans," all the rage these days. My maternity jeans are twenty years old.

I've mentioned them before on these pages. They are soft and faded and are truly comfort for a tired body. I hadn't really worn them since last spring. I had skirts and capris for the summer months. When bedrest began, the temperatures were in the high 80s and low 90s. I had last had a winter baby eight years ago. Then, there was such a long gap between Katie and Karoline that I gave all but a few sentimental favorite maternity clothes away. So, when I woke up Thursday morning and it was forty degrees outside, I went for those old, old jeans. And I paired them with a jean jacket I bought in college. Vintage jeans, vintage jacket.

I love denim. Those very old jeans look great. They are faded, to be sure, but they are still very presentable. Denim is like that. It's the ultimate mom fabric. Denim is the most frugal fabric on the planet; I am quite certain it's true. I have no khaki pants or skirts from twenty years ago. I have no rayon skirts from even five years ago. They stretch out and wear out and frankly, they get dirty in a home where little people frequently grab my skirts. But not my denim. My daughter is wearing denim skirts I bought when she was born. My denim apron has gotten better with every washing. And my jeans...I do love my jeans.

Erin assures me that pregnant women get a pass for wearing pants. Her arguments are sound. I've never seen men's pants with maternity tummies. And I've never seen a man who looks like I do right now in jeans. So, there's no chance they 'll be mistaken for menswear. And every maternity shirt or sweater I own falls well below my hips, so I think I'm more than modestly covered. As a matter of fact, last time I was pregnant, I discovered that once a week, my jeans were more modest than my skirts. I wore skirts almost exclusively through the spring and summer of Karoline's pregnancy. Except when I went to chiropractor. Both the good doctor and I were very glad that I was wearing pants while he manipulated my legs and hips. Yep, pregnant women should be allowed to wear pants, particularly when they've been on bedrest for six weeks, have absolutely no warm clothes to wear and don't want to pay extravagent prices and shipping to buy warm maternity clothes, particularly when they might not even be pregnant this time next week. Nope. I'm going to make do with what I have. These jeans work nicely for my weekly dates with my husband to see the doctor.

Denim can be darling, too. I'm a big fan of embellished denim. No one does it quite so well as J. Jill. And I remember fondly some floral patterned denim overalls I wore seventeen years ago when I was pregnant with Christian. I wish I could wear them now. I loaned them to my friend Alicia and never got them back. Alicia is now a nurse-manager in Labor and Delivery at the local hospital. When I was admitted last month, I almost asked her about those overalls. But since her youngest is fifteen, I doubt she has any remembrance of them at all. Perhaps only I get emotionally attached to denim.

Now that I think about it, the only three other things I saved when I gave my maternity clothes away are all denim. One is shirt that is a denim floral. It is the first article of clothing my mother-in-law ever bought for me.  I love that shirt. I don't think I'll give it away. Maybe I'll make it into quilt squares when I'm expecting a grandchild. Of course, first I'd have to learn to quilt. The other shirt is a denim with floral embroidery. And then there is fair aisle sweater in denim hues. Do you sense a theme here?

My husband is a big fan of denim. I like to pair denim skirts and jeans with feminine tops--fun buttons, lace flourishes, interesting knit patterns. He likes to bring me too large hoodies with various ESPN logos on them. And he likes me to wear them. Fortunately, these sweatshirts, which come from his place of employment and are distributed fairly regularly to the staff, are always too big for me. That means they fit perfectly right now. It also means they fit well on a snuggly Sunday, watching football in front of the fire and eating halftime junk food. Denim and sweatshirts. Comfort and cozy. I won't even try to make a case for feminine except to say that my husband finds the look cute--just as cute as he found it 25 years ago when the sweatshirt sported the name of our high school.   And perhaps that's the real lesson of denim: feminity and modesty are in the eye of the beholder. And if it were up to my dear husband, I'd be forever in blue jeans.       

Silence

Mid-September through the first week in October have proven to be very intense in my household. I've learned in the past few years that early autumn requires my full time and attention at home. There are lots of happy things: feast days and a flurry of birthdays. There is the inevitable strain of adjusting to my husband's intensified travel schedule, coupled with the children's intensified activity schedule. We all need to hunker down and adapt to the demands of "school" and we usually have some unforeseen things thrown in there, too.  By September 13th or so, I begin to feel sensory overload, just anticipating what's to come. This year, the sensory input is coming from within me, too. A precious little person keeps tapping me and reminding me that she is in need of particularly special care. And then there is this to consider: Autumn is my very favorite time of year~outside. So, it's time to stop reading and writing on the web for a spell. Time to go for long walks, God willing.  It's time to save my words for the people in my home and hope that in doing so I will find for myself some of the silence so vital to souls of those seeking to live in His will. If I can persuade my camera to begin speaking with my computer again, I'll let my kids post pictures so our journal will continue. Otherwise, we're going to be quiet here for a few weeks. Have a beautiful, blessed early autumn!

Just for Today

As I was tinkering with templates and sidebars, I was particularly struck by this food for thought (and prayer). I thought I'd post it here for us to ponder as we try to live in God's presence during this busy weekend.

• 1. Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.
• 2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.
• 3. Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.
• 4. Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.
• 5. Only for today, I will devote ten minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.
• 6. Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.
• 7. Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure no one notices.
• 8. Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.
• 9. Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.
• 10. Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for twelve hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.  ~Bl. Pope John XXIII

Time Online, Revisited

I've received several variations of the following note, This one's from Lindsay:

Dear Elizabeth,

I read your column about time spent online with interest. I know that you must have spent a lot of time online before this column was written. Are you saying you've changed your computer habits? I need to do something about my computer use. I was wondering if you'd share your guidelines with me (if you have new ones).

Yep! I definitely do have new "guidelines." They were about a year in the drafting (some things come very slowly to me). My guidelines are, of course, mine. They suit me (at least right now) and are likely to be revised by me. But I'm happy to let you peek, particularly since so many people seem interested in the "rest of the story" after reading that piece and this one.

• I don't pursue friendships online. Let me explain that one carefully. I definitely do email my friends. And I'm grateful for email and blogs where friends are concerned. It's opened up whole new worlds. A couple of friends, in particular, have been friends since childhood. Since we were military kids, most of that friendship time has been long distance. It's amazing how much more connected we are able to be since the internet exploded and long distance became a fairly inexpensive proposition. That said, I don't pursue friendships online. I might share photos or links or files (in the case of my friends who love color-coded homeschool and homemaking lists as much as I do). But if an email conversation goes more than a couple of posts deep, I pick up the phone or arrange for an in-real-life meeting at the park or playground.  Of all the habits I've changed, this one is bearing the most fruit.
• The corollary to the first rule is that I don't use my cell phone much at all. There are exceptions to this rule but, for the most part, I never use it when driving and I rarely use it unless minutes are free. I had gotten into a bad habit of phone calls while driving last fall. My daughter pointed out rather poignantly how much she missed our conversation time while driving to activities. And really, I'm not the best driver. It's better all the way around if I don't drive and talk on the phone.
• I don't post to message boards or email groups. The only exception is the business of local groups who use such vehicles to communicate between meetings. Online groups are very useful in that limited capacity. Otherwise, they don't work in my life for a variety of reasons. Honestly, of all the pruning, this was the most difficult. But it's also the one that stands to bear the most fruit.
• I only write and read online if my kitchen is clean. This is a variation of the original promise I made to my husband when I started blogging--a promise quickly forgotten. Life is much more peaceful since I've returned to it. I only blogged once last week. Feel free to imagine why;-)
• I whittled my Google Reader down to what I discerned was a manageable number of blogs. This was a major hack job, not a little whittle. I cut the list by about 90%. Admittedly, sometimes I feel like I'm missing the party, but on the whole, it's a very good thing. I do allow myself to follow links that I find on my ten. I also read "Friends Shared Items," if they interest me. Google has generated the friends in this case (and I can't figure out how to add or delete from that list, I'm embarrassed to admit).  I think a feed reader is a very, very useful tool for managing time and content online. When I take that tool and put my own restrictions on it, its invaluable. Remember, the kitchen must be clean. Furthermore, I only check once a day.  If I get interrupted, so be it. Life will go on. Last week, I went four days without checking in at Google Reader. Nothing earth-shattering happened. 
• I don't talk on the phone or get online if my husband is home and awake. This is not a new rule. It's actually a very, very old rule. It drives him nuts to have me on the phone or online. All my friends are well aware that this is the standard rule around here. Several of them have the same rule in their homes. Now, it probably needs to be said that I'm a morning person and he's not, so I tend to have a chunk of time in the early morning if my toddler allows it. He also travels very often; he always has. When other moms have their grown-up time when the children are sleeping, I'm often alone. I use that time to write Serendipity. It used to be online friend time, but now it's more sharply focused. This is a good thing. Ultimately, I'm dong something that benefits my family, while enjoying some time to create something beautiful that actually stays done:-).
• I take time outside every single day. This might seem utterly unrelated, but it's not. It's really good for me to get up and physically move far away from the computer. If you are attempting to cut back and to implement your own version of rules like these, I highly recommend a three (or more) day fast. Turn the computer off entirely and stay outside with your children for as much of those three days as you can. It's amazing how much your perspective can change. It's also amazing how much resolve you can bring to redefining how you use the computer for good in your life. And whenever I'm outside, I make time, literally, to smell the roses. They are blooming abundantly!