Across Time and Place

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On September 1, 2009, just before I got in the car for the afternoon soccer run, Colleen's sister called with the devastating news that baby Bryce had died in his sleep. The bright afternoon grew very dark.

I wanted so badly to be there with her. But I was here.

We did the best we could, crossing miles in every way we knew without leaving our families, connecting and consoling and being genuinely grateful for technology.

Finally, today, one year later, we will be together. And I am so thankful for the opportunity for a real hug. For my children and hers, playing together. For the chance to remember. For the blessing it is to console a dear friend and to celebrate the little life of her sweet baby.

Colleen has traveled a weary road this year and she's done it with extraordinary faith and grace. She sat down a few days ago to talk about her journey with Danielle Bean. Listen to their conversation. Be blessed.

And please, say a prayer for her today.

Safe People

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I mentioned yesterday that I am reading Safe People: How to find relationshipsthat are good for you and avoid those that aren’t.  Several people wrote to ask about it. Perhaps the best way to summarize is to offer the list of traits of unsafe people. The authors help the reader to see any of these traits in herself, as well as delineating how to relate to other people who have these traits.

Here's a list of red flags (of course, no one has them all and we all have at least a little of some).This list serves as good check on the character of your friends or  a mirror with which to see your own relationship flaws:

1. They think they have it all together instead of admitting their weaknesses.

2. They are religious instead of spiritual.

3. Unsafe people are defensive instead of open to feedback.

4. They are self-righteous instead of humble.

5. They only apologize instead of changing their behavior.

6. They avoid working on their problems and growing in virtue.

7. They demand trust instead of earning it.

8. They believe they are perfect instead of admitting their faults.

9. Unsafe people blame others instead of taking responsibility.

10.Unsafe people lie instead of telling the truth.

11. They are stagnant instead of growing.

12.  Unsafe people avoid closeness instead of connecting.

13. Unsafe people are only concerned about "I" instead of "we."

14. They resist freedom instead of encouraging it.

15. They flatter us instead of confronting us.

16. Unsafe people condemn instead of forgiving us--they confront not to correct and forgive but to condemn and punish.

17. Unsafe people don't relate to us as equals.

18. They are unstable over time instead of being consistent.

19. They are a negative influence on us, rather than a positive one.

20. Unsafe people gossip instead of keeping confidences.

One of those rare, life-changing books that you pass on to the people you love.



Looking for something?

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Every week, Ligit sends me a report on searches and stats. I usually just delete it without even looking at it because I have serious number aversion. Today, I looked. In the report, there is a list of items people searched and found no results. So...because I hate fruitless searches, let me help you:

Saint Dolls Sarah Anne. We've had that one before. Lots and lots of times. Sarah Annie's birthday saints can be found here.

Musical Toy. No clue, really. But I'm thinkin' maybe what we affectionately call "Dooba Blocks?" We don't have many musical toys...

St. Faustina CD is from the same people who brought the St. Therese rosary into my life. You can find that here.

Lavender Play dough: This one was weird. I knew exactly where the post was but, even when I search the title or the date, I can't get Ligit to show it and I can't get a permalink to pop up readily and I'm running out time. So, go to "Summer of Grace" (click from the category cloud on the right) and scroll down to "How to Calm a Cranky Afternoon."

Mirical. Ah. Miracles. We've had many. Write and tell me which one you were remembering.

Now that I've satisfied my inner research librarian (winking at you Leah;-), I'm off to start my soccer day. Back later with a Daybook from Starbucks!