Rejoice and be Glad!

Blessed are you, holy are you!

Rejoice and be glad for yours is the kingdom of God!

As a devout Catholic family, we are open to life.  We've always been open to life. Because of God's great grace (and a courageous priest--thank you Fr. Lyle), I will never look back on our years of fertility and wonder if God had more children in mind for us.  We greedily accepted all those that were offered.

But it has certainly gotten more difficult.  Oh, not that we want them less.  If anything, I want them more.  My prayers for the blessing of children have reached a fevered pitch of desperation as I confront the reality of my forties.  Please, Lord, send me more before it's too late!

What has become more difficult is the recognition that this is a fallen world and that all our joy is bittersweet. I offered my labor for a dear friend who had recently confided that she was pregnant again, two years after a heartbreaking stillbirth.  Throughout labor, I was painfully aware that life and death are but a breath apart.  And I was overcome with fear. It was a fear that my friend knew all too well and one that she had faced when she embraced life once again.

A few weeks later came the heartbreaking news that her newest baby would also be born into heaven before she ever held him. As I cradled my newborn and wept for my friend, I wept for myself as well.  Gone was the nonchalant innocence, the notion that if we want a baby, we can have a baby.  In its place is the awe-filled recognition that life on this earth is very precious indeed. And that openness to life--conception, pregnancy and childbirth--is also openness to exquisite pain.

My phone rang several times that night and the next day.  The news of this latest loss rocked the worlds of some very steady, faithful women. We needed each other--we needed to sort the feelings of loss and pain and hopelessness.  And we need to be reminded by each other of faith. Like so many candles lit from a single flame, we consoled each other, we held each other up, even as we mourned the loss of the little row lights that had been snuffed too soon.

I talked with my pastor about it all last Sunday.  And he said to me, in his forthright, blunt, German way, "It's not about you.  It's not about your friend.  It's about the baby. Sometimes women forget that the whole idea is getting a new soul to heaven.  That baby's there. Mission accomplished."  He went on to say that I might not want to be so blunt when I spread the message, but that that really is the bottom line. New souls for heaven.

And with that reality ringing in my ears, I had the holy privelige of bringing another baby before God to be baptized this week. Choosing a date for Karoline's baptism was tedious.  My husband's travel schedule and the priest's schedule and the Holy Day schedules all bumped up against each other.  I ended up with a date two weeks later than I wanted.  I ended up with  All Soul's Day.  And I wasn't thrilled with it. Seemed sort of morbid for a baptism.

But yesterday, in that church, I prayed for those women whose lives and whose stories were so much a part of my pregnancy--for Missey Gray, the homeschooling mother of five who died in childbirth last winter and for Nicole, a dear friend who learned she was dying of cancer as she gave birth to her third baby. And I prayed for Donna, who gave another baby to God. And then, there was Betsy. So much pain mingled with such utter joy. Birth and death, saints and souls, truly life in the Catholic Church. And that water, that holy water, looked to my eyes to be the tears of those mothers who so loved their children. Please God, just grant us the grace sufficient to do your will with these precious souls.

I listened as the dear priest who has baptized all my children reminded my husband and me again that the goal is heaven and that we were solemnly promising to pass on the faith and to educate our children for heaven. Heaven.  No matter whether we hold them for a lifetime or hold them not at all, the goal is to return them to God.

And so yesterday, this precious, precious baby girl became what she is, a child of God.  Please Lord, let me always remember that she was created for heaven.

She's a handful!

Okay, so my baby skills are a bit rusty.  Either that, or I never used to get anything done around here!  This little bundle of love doesn't sleep much and she is only happy in my arms (or the arms of her biggest brothers).  Frankly, I'd like nothing better than to sit around for the next six months and just gaze at her (isn't she adorable?).  But, there were all those carefully thought out homemaking resolutions and all those lofty educational goals!  I can sit with her in my arms or stand with her in a sling--either way, I'm slow as molasses in January when it comes to productivity. I'm not all that into multi-tasking.  I'm a terrible typist with two hands, never mind with one.  The house must be kept, meals must be cooked and there are seven other children in my house who need my love and attention.  Much as a I want to, I can't babymoon forever. So, share with me ladies--what are your best life-with-baby tips?  How do you savor the infant days while still meeting the other duties of your vocation?

Lately, I've been thinking especially about a certain mother of 11, who did a beautiful job with her big kids (now grown and proof that it can be done), despite lots of babies for many years.  (Coincidentally, the sweater Karoline is wearing came from that very fine Ecole Buisonierre.)

First Halloween...

...and our Little Flower is asleep before the fun begins!

The costume?  From the Cottage Garden, where beautiful flowers grow!

A little row of lights went out...

Just as we were celebrating the utter joy and loveliness of babies as a community, we were reminded that when we say "yes" to life, we also take a risk. We risk the heartbreak the Blessed Mother knew so well, the pain of loss.  Several of the mothers at 4Real have suffered miscarriages this week. As Alice so eloquently wrote, "One by one, a little row of lights went out, giving way to the darkness of disappointment and loss."  Please join us in praying for our dear friends. Alice has posted a beautiful prayer at Cottage Blessings.

The Loveliness of Babies

It's been all babies, all the time here for the entire month of October.  And it's so much fun to share the joy with mothers all over the world who know and understand the loveliness of babies.

For so many of us, babies begin with a prayer. There is a longing that the Lord inspires in our hearts, a restlessness and emptiness that only a bundle will fill.  And so we beg God for a blessing beyond compare and we buy more than our fair share of pregnancy tests, hoping for two red lines.  Minnesota Mom eloquently captures those feelings of hope and eagerness as we pray to see The Thin Red Line.

And when those two lines appear, we're off on a whole new adventure.  Kathryn, in England, set off on just such an adventure this time last year. She did it with a lot of prayer support and hundreds of cyber aunties who joyfully welcomed Kathryn's late-in-life Little Cherub.

And there is a little cherub at The Island of Hope, too.  His name is Jack (sort of).

Several of us have been talking lately about the paradox of having so many friends who have had so many babies.  The more people you know, the more stories you know.  We know stories of triumph and of unimagined joy.  But we have also heard the tragedies, the sorrows, the very real risks that come with having children. Cheryl takes us through the highs and the lows,to a place of trust and comfort. No one knows the gravest risks and the most terrifying fears better than Angel who has lived with an intimate knowledge of the fragility of life since the day she was born.  And she reminds us to never, ever take babies and birth for granted.

Helen shares the "labor" of adoption--a labor of love. Alice brings her trademark faith and serenity to the birth experience.  She tells the beautiful story of Catherine's birth and reminds us that we do not bring our babies into this world alone. She's also given us new baby pictures and some glimpses at the new miracle in the always lovely Cottage.

Sometimes, we pray for a baby and we get a surprise.  The Barretts at the Bonny Blue House must be really good pray-ers, because God gave them two-at-a-time babies this year.  And Mary Ellen is discovering anew that folks will do just about anything for those precious babies.

This Fair has given some moms cause for reflection.  Blair reflects on the gift of three daughters.  And Dawn reflects on the gift of three sons.

Cay considers her own babies and those of the people she loves. MamaJen shares  how to keep babylove alive even when there are currently no babies in the house.

Rebecca has devoted an entire blog to Babylove.  I don't know how she chose just one post.  She asks us to look again at the lovely dreams and happy days that come with sharing sleep with our wee ones.

Elena reminds us that we need each one of those babies and that women will be saved through childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness (1 Timothy 2:15).

It's not just moms who are reflecting.  My eldest son has found a reason to ponder too.  He shares what the babies in my house have meant to him.

And what about me? I'm in a fog of Baby Bliss and pretty much the entire October archives is devoted to Sweet Karoline Rose.  She is an answer to fervent prayer--the rose picked from the heavenly garden, a balm to a tired soul, a fresh breeze of hope and joy.  She has enchanted our entire family. I live for this and it is such a lovely life!