My Heart's in the NICU Daybook

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Outside My Window ...
I am in an interior unit. The windows look out into the nurse's station and the well baby nursery. It's nine months since Valentine's Day--the nursery is full of plump, happy babies.
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I am listening to...
La Traviata. Earlier, it was 1980's Lite Radio love songs. Slow dance, anyone?
Towards a daily rhythm ...
I visit Sarah. I return to my room and try to rest. I pump. I repeat the pattern. But tonight, I go home..
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I am thankful for ...
the incredible hearts of the neonatal staff.
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From the kitchen ...
blech. Thank God my brother-in-law lives a mile away and brings me real food.
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To live the liturgy...
I had a baby on the vigil of All Saint's Day. Time stood still.
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I am wearing ...
a pink nightgown, my medal necklace, fuzzy socks and four hospital bracelets.
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I am creating ...
memories. It will take me years, I think, to sort them.
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Towards a real education ...
Ahhh...all my children are learning is this crash course in fetal development outside the womb and tricks on their cousins' trampoline.
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Bringing beauty to my home ...
I miss my home. I desperately miss my home. I want to bring my daughter home and hunker down for the winter. I want to hold her and nurse her and let my children snuggle in close to us. And then I never want to leave.
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I am reading  ...
Preemies, by Linden et all. It was in the NICU library. I heard Dr. Sears has a preemie book. Wish they had that one.
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I am hoping ...
Sarah can come home soon.
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Around the house ...
Ah, the house. See above.

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One of my favorite things ...
good news.
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A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
Sarah is writing the plans. We'll do whatever she tells us.
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Here is a picture thought I am sharing~
 
   

No pictures this week. I have the camera but no cord and no photo program on this computer. Trust me, there is a deluge of photos coming in the not-too-distant future.
Please keep praying!

So much to say...

...but my heart's too full to talk.

I have a moment on the computer in the hospital. Thank you for your prayers and your kind messages. Sarah Anne is well. The medical phrase of choice here is, "She's doing exactly what she should do for her gestational age." And when I ask when we will be able to take her home, everyone answers the same way: "It's up to each baby to write her story."

Sarah's story has had one new chapter after another and each one has spoken a message of  trust. At the end of every chapter, we see so clearly the blessings of our good Lord and we feel the comfort of His abundant grace. I am learning to trust. Admittedly, I am not a quick study.

One day, I am certain I will tell the story of her birth. For now, though, thank you for the prayers. It was, indeed, a happy, healthy, holy delivery and recovery. It was a miracle really and we are so grateful.

And one day, I might even write about our NICU experience. Tonight though, I am content to ponder those things in my heart. We continue to ask the intercession of St. Sarah, whose laughter reminds us to embrace the joy; St. Anne who comforts us with grandmotherly grace; and Our Lady of La Leche who has protected us within the fold of her mantle and who knows so well the heart of nursing mothers. Jesus blesses our every moment and we are so grateful to Him for the precious gift of our beautiful baby. Please keep praying!

Sarah Anne Foss is here!

Hi!  It's Katherine hacking into Elizabeth's blog to let you know that Sarah Anne Foss was born this evening on October 31.  I just got off the phone with Mike and he says that Elizabeth and Sarah are doing well.  Everything went great and I know that I can speak for Elizabeth and say that your prayers have and continue to mean so much to this beautiful family.  Please continue to pray as Elizabeth and Sarah recover and prepare to come home.  I'll save all the great details for Elizabeth to share.  I am so happy to tag this post only with the category "Baby Blessing" and finally see Elizabeth out of "Pregnancy Bedrest." 

Glory to God for All Things!
katherine

The Irony is Heartbreaking

The following column was written for this week's edition of the Arlington Catholic Herald. It's not up on the website. I'm not sure why. and I'm not sure if it will be in the print version. I seem to have a difficult time grasping the nuance of writing op/ed pieces without offering a clear opinion. So, this might have been too partisan. Or, it might be that the Herald website is running a little behind this week. But time is growing short!  My point with this piece is to reflect upon the last eight months of watching the culture of death gather momentum while lying still and trying to save just one baby. Please pass it along.

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Back in February, my children rudely asked a woman we know how she had cast her ballot in the Virginia primary. She named a candidate who is adamantly pro-choice. They were horrified. “How can you vote for someone who is for abortion?” one of them blurted indignantly.

“I’m more concerned with the people who are already alive than the ones who aren’t yet,” came the steady reply.

I’m ashamed to admit that an uncomfortable silence settled over the room. We were stunned and I was too intimidated by the context of the conversation to say anything more. I still regret that.

Within a few weeks of that conversation, I learned I was pregnant. I had a raging case of the flu at that time. As I fought to keep my fever down in order to protect the tiny being growing within me, I was very much aware that my baby was alive and I wanted her to stay that way.

As the flu subsided, hyperemesis set in. Now, the goal was to control vomiting and stay hydrated in order to protect the baby. I got a glimpse of her via sonogram. I was eight weeks pregnant and we could see her heart beat steadily and surely—a perfect little person who only needed time to grow.

Just as the hyperemesis began to wane, I had another sonogram. There we discovered that the placenta, the organ created by God for each pregnancy to nourish the baby, was in the wrong place and its location threatened both the baby and me. At that sonogram, we also saw her wave her arms and touch her feet to her head. And we clearly saw that she is a girl. But that placenta was troubling. Thus began the odyssey of frequent sonograms and very careful management of a high risk pregnancy. A whole team of doctors was called into to guard the life of this baby—a baby who was already very much a part of our family. A baby with a name we remembered constantly in family prayers. A baby who squirmed and wiggled and kicked and delighted her siblings with her gymnastics. A baby who could have been legally aborted.

And so this pregnancy has progressed. It began early in the election season and has unfolded rather dramatically, a parallel story to the drama in our nation. I lie here on my side now, day after day, counting every precious kick, taking care not to turn the wrong way or sneeze without protecting my belly. Just one life—just one precious child—has a whole army of people working hard to protect her very existence, while out there in the world thousands of people throng at campaign events for a man who has said he wouldn’t want his daughters punished with a baby. In the years since our country legalized abortion, nearly 50 million tiny lives have been ended. While I lie here and pray that my baby is healthy and is born well, I watch in horror as throngs of people cheer a man who would make abortion even more accessible.

I want to show them the latest sonogram. The one where you can see the tiny hairs on her head. The one that always calls to mind those words from Matthew: Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and not one of them shall fall on the ground without your Father:  but the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore; ye are of more value than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31

What treasures women are privileged to hold within them! What creatures of infinite value! Our Lord tells us to fear not. He values us and He values the tiny baby whose wisps of hair can be seen and counted by us well before she is born. Who knows the plans He had for those 50 million babies? And who knows the plans He had for their mothers, plans for their good and the good of their souls? There is a man out there being likened to a Messiah. He promises to allow harm to come to the babies. From my horizontal perspective, here in this bed, the irony is heartbreaking.