So how did the first day go?

I've been homeschooling something like 20 years, give or take a year because I'm too lazy to do the math. And, I promise you, in this house, the first day of a new term never goes as planned. After all these years, though, it always goes predictably.

I can predict that it's going to be a bit rocky.

It begins with me arising early, super early, because I am eager to have everything just so. The environment is readied--I've spent hours getting everything just so. I'm very visual and I find a certain peace in the order and the color. All good.

 

 
 

Then, I awaken the children, earlier than usual, because I want them to be eager to begin also. The details from there vary from year to year, but they go something like this:  Despite great provisioning just days before, we don't have eggs for breakfast. Littlest Darling has a runny nose, a fever, and a croupy cough and she doesn't want me to leave her to go to the store. Two little girls mourn the absence of the neighbor's child who slips in and out of our family life. She is going to "real school" today and will join us at 2:30. There is a bit of envy over lunchboxes and school shoes. Little boys are not so little any more and not so eager to be awakened, either. Everyone wants eggs for breakfast.

 
 

We begin determinedly, my enthusiasm ebbing a bit as my lofty plans meet reality. I remember a morning over a decade ago when I had such awesome things planned, such an elaborate environment readied, and three little boys responded ... well, they didn't. I'm not even sure they noticed, but they certainly weren't impressed. Those were days before blogs, before the temptation to leave my disappointing crew in our dining room-turned-learning room and go look again at the beautiful pictures of other women's learning spaces (here's where I am resisting the urge to link like crazy--y'all can find them;-) and to download page after page of other people's plans. No, I didn't leave my regular, ordinary, unimpressed boys in my regular, ordinary home and head off to the computer to escape to some sort of blog perfection. I called my husband and I cried. He didn't get it. Well, he got that I was crying, but he didn't get that I thought those things that were so important to me would inspire the boys. And on that day, I learned it's not about me. It's about them.

 

Flash forward a dozen or so years. Now, the plans grate up against reality on the first day and I'm not surprised. I know this day is the day I test drive my philosophical underpinnings and see how it all works in real life. And when that beautiful basket with the multi-colored gems is gleefully dumped all over the wood floor and the wee one with the big eyes and runny nose delights in the sound so she does it again, I remember.

They haven't been clicking around Pinterest.

They haven't been trading stories on Facebook.

They haven't been reading wonderful, inspiring books about family rhythm and prepared environments.

They haven't been planning curriculum all summer. 

They are why I am doing this at all.

They are the same today as they were last week. We have to meet in the middle. I have to look realistically on all my ponderings and plans and adjust them according to the real life I live here. With them. I have to recognize where I haven't left margin. Where I didn't consider.

 

 
 

Room.

Room for stopping to wipe noses and to swish toilets. Room for cooking and eating and cleaning up afterwards. Room to be alone, each of us in our own spaces, to think and dream and create.  Room for balance.

Reading and running free. Staying on task and stopping to notice and wonder. Pencil to paper and needle to fabric. Still at the table with close up tasks and quick on their feet with a ball beneath them. Discussing what I planned and pondering things I never would have considered. Planning with diligence and moving away from the plans.

 
 

The first day is always a little off balance. These days, I plan for that, too. This is as it should be. The grace of the plans that just don't work sheds glorious light on the beauty of educating at home, together. I can adjust the plan. I can allow them to force me to consider each one of them individually and to see where my notions meet their needs and where they fail. When I see that the first day is their day, I begin to understand that the first day might just be the day when I learn the most.

 

 
 

I learn that I can't do this on my own strength. I am reminded that I must see the child, each child, and meet him where he is. I learn anew that this isn't school at home. It's a lifestyle of learning that requires an incredible amount of sacrifice and even more grace. 

 

It's just the first day. It didn't go according to plan. But that was actually part of the plan.  I embrace the rough spots, the weak places, the small failures,  knowing that He is teaching me; He is begging me to show my children that I can be taught.

 

Oh, I can!  Show me, God. Show me your holy will.  How does it all fit together? How do we all grow together? What is Your plan for this family? Grant me the grace and the humility to set aside my plan for your better one.

-from the archives

App Happy!

Good morning! Today, I'd like to introduce you to Chris Valpiani, the mother of five girls (including toddler twins), who has been inspiring (and amusing) me on Instagram and Facebook for years. Chris has beautifully incorporated technology into her very organic "unschooling" family lifestyle. I asked her drop in and offer some not-back-to-school app recommendations. This is a wonderful list that has greatly influenced the new iPad in the Foss household. Please meet Chris:

My first iPad came about when I was pregnant with my twins.  My thoughtful family predictably saw that there would be a lot of sit-around-and-nurse-babies time in my immediate and long-term future, and so gifted me one for Christmas.  It revolutionized my life! …  In the very best of ways.  And it didn’t take me anytime at all to realize its potential with my children as well.  It has become a wonderful tool in my arsenal all-things-homeschool to throw at my kids and let them learn all they can soak up, and have a fabulous time in doing so. 

The look of “school” has changed for us.  The iPad is here, and will only likely become more innovative and offer more opportunities to take advantage of; and as a homeschooler, if my children are learning AND enjoying themselves, then I’m pleased as punch!

I wanted to share a few apps that have really made a difference in our homeschool.  But before I begin, I want to mention that there are a lot of gaming apps that offer learning opportunities, as well the apps that are advertised with an obvious education approach.  The ones that I care to share here are more in the category of “obviously educational”; we each have our unique perspectives on what we consider educational for our children, so I’ll not try to convince anyone of the educational value in Where’s My Water, a wildly popular app here in this household ;)

This isn’t a comprehensive list by any means, and it isn’t even all that I have on the iPads that we use, but these are the ones that I offer to share with others, if someone just so happens to ask.  I’ve got plenty of apps that I would *love* for my children to use and fall in love with, but for reasons known only to them, they just aren’t necessarily drawn to these apps, though I’ll not delete them just yet – as with food, tastes can change as children grow. 

Apps for Alphabet & Phonics (Early Reader ideal):

First Word Animals (from Learning Touch):

{pictured is the free First Words sampler}

Ages:  Preschool, Kindergarten, First Grade (Early Reader stage).

This app presents phonics is a fun way.  A picture of an animal appears with the name below it (example: cat, dog, pig, hen, etc.).  And at the bottom are all the letters within the name of the animal.  Your child can touch any letter to hear its sound, then touch and drag the letter to the proper placement within the animal name.  Once all the letters have been placed, then you hear the sound of the animal name aloud.  This is the equivalent of Usborne First Word Flashcards, yet a bit more engaging. 

 I want to mention too that through this app you can also be introduced to same-idea apps for Richard Scarry and the Bob Books.  I don’t have these apps (yet), but they look good.

 

Elmo ABC’s (by Sesame Street):

Ages:  Preschool, Kindergarten.

Since the app is called “Elmo ABC’s”, I’m sure it’s no surprise that this app focuses on ABC introductions through cute games and songs.  If your child enjoys Elmo, this app is for you.

Montessori Moveable Alphabet (also called Montessori Approach to Language, by Rantek): 

Ages:  However old your child is, as long as they enjoy using a moveable alphabet.

A Montessori moveable alphabet isn’t cheap, so if you’re looking for an alternative, this app is the right one.  We have an actual Montessori moveable alphabet and use it regularly, but my children still enjoy doing it on the iPad as well.  You’ll not find “flashy and loud” with this app.  Mellow and calm and delightful.

Starfall ABC’s and Starfall Learn to Read (by Starfall Education):

Ages:  3 years old and up (…ish).

Just like the website that I’m sure you are all familiar with, they have a wonderful app!  A favorite, for sure.  Yeah, Starfall!

Apps for Math and Numbers:

Zoom (by Motion Math): 

Ages:  Preschool through 3^rd or 4^th grade (with the decimals being the most advanced number challenge).

This is a numbers game that focuses on number placement.  You can work with whole numbers, negative numbers, and decimals (depending on the knowledge your child has).  An example would be – the “player” would have to correctly answer where the number “5” is located, with a scale show on the screen, the “player” would then place the number 5 between the numbers 4 and 6.  It is played the same way with negative numbers, and decimals.  The program offers lots of help if it senses that there is hesitation on the player’s part.

Math Bingo (by ABCya): 

Ages:  At whatever age your child begins to add numbers.

Just as the app name suggests, a Bingo game!  Kids love Bingo!  This app offers games in Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, and Division.  If you answer the number problem correctly, then you earn a space; the player can play for just Bingo, or a full Black-Out (and there is a potential for earning points for extra Bingo activities) … this is truly a no-guilt, go-ahead-and-give-them-the-iPad-game.  Let your kids go, have fun, and help them to master these basic math skills!

Fractions (by Brainingcamp):

*A note.  Brainingcamp also makes several other math-related apps.  Algebra Tiles, Area of Rectangles, Area of Parallelograms, Area of Triangles, Color Tiles, Histograms, Number Rods, Numbler (a Math Game), Order of Operations, Pattern Blocks, Simplifying Expressions, and Solving Equations.

Ages:  Your best judgment, based on your child’s current ability.

I have the Fractions app by Brainingcamp.  My 8 year old has been playing around with this app for about a year now and has enjoyed it very much.  It provides an introduction to Fractions, equivalent fractions, common denominators, comparing and ordering fractions, adding and subtracting fractions, multiplying fractions, and dividing fractions.  Within each subject a lesson is provided, and opportunity to solve problems is presented, and further challenges provided if they like.  This app is very nicely put together.

Multiplication Genius (by Blue Onion Soft):

Ages:  Your best judgment, based on your child’s current ability.

There’s really nothing flashy or fancy about this app; it’s a simple and fun way to practice multiplication without having to use a workbook or a worksheet – just another option or venue for practice.

Kindergarten Addition (by I Did It Learning):

Ages: 4 years old and up

This is a cute little app that helps my younger ones practice their adding skills in a very non-threatening way.  It’s not a timed-drill, there’s no pressure, and you have the option of listening to a nice-sounding British woman talk you through the problem of (for example) 2 + 3. (British woman’s voice = bonus) 

Khan Academy:

Ages:  5 years old and up (depending entirely upon the subject being learned)

Just as with the Khan Academy website, the app offers an amazing variety of videos that cover the subjects of: Math, Science & Economics, Computer Science, Humanities, Test Preparation, Talks and Interviews, and Project & Discovery Lab (which includes Robots, Reverse Engineering, Discoveries, Projectile Launcher, Thermodynamics).  The videos are categorically organized and titled such that it takes the guesswork out of knowing which videos to begin with and progressively advance to.

Apps for Science:

Video Science (from Science House):  

Ages:  … hard to define an age to these videos.  My children will watch just about anything called a “video”, so my 4 year old will sit through a 10-minute video on Cryogenics then ask to watch it again when it’s over.

A series of short science videos listed by topic. (There are about 80 videos).  My children sort of skip this app quite often.  Upon compiling this list, I asked them why they don’t spend much time on it.  The short answer was that they just forgot that it was even there!  … so I think I may have sparked a new interest for them.  Wonderful J

Britannica Kids Solar System / Britannica Kids Volcanoes / Britannica Kids Dinosaurs (by Britannica Encyclopedia):

{pictured is Coral Reefs--a treat for Nicholas}

Ages:  2^nd or 3^rd grade and on up (my best guess). 

The Britannica Kids series is incredible.  Just as you might assume, it is much like an encyclopedia with fantastic images and is fact-based and packed with information.  Within these apps, you can read articles, search for specific topics, touch-draw on the screen, do jigsaw puzzles, play a few select games, watch pictures and videos, and take quizzes.  The Solar System, Volcanoes, and Dinosaurs are the version that I have, but Britannica also offers:  Ancient Egypt, Rainforests, Ancient Rome, Aztec Empire, Snakes, Knights and Castles, and Endangered Species.  All of these are $4.99

Kids Discover Galaxies / Kids Discover Cells (by Discover Kids):

*A note.  Discover Kids also makes apps for Life on Mars, Ancient Greece, The Constitution, Matter, Washington D.C, Extreme Weather, Simple Machines, the Sun, Antarctica, Ancient Egypt.  Some of these apps are free, and the ones that aren’t, cost $3.99.

Ages:  Using my best guess, I would say if they can read, they’ll enjoy bits and pieces of this app, and more of it as they grow.

This app has *a lot* of information within it.  Some of the items you just read through, some are videos, some are interactive pictures and puzzles, your child can take quizzes, and navigate through dozens of subjects within subject by going to the index, or side bar view.  My children have only just begun to explore this app, and thus far, they are enjoying it and learning quite a lot.

I should also mention that I only have the free apps.  I can’t say what separates the Kids Discover apps that cost money to those that don’t.

Khan Academy (See Above)

Bill Nye the Science Guy (by Disney):

I wanted to mention this app even though we’ve just only begun to explore it.  So far, I’m impressed.  It’s highly interactive with the kids and spans a great variety of subjects.  I think my children are going to have a great time exploring this app!

Apps for Natural Science:

Peterson Birds of North America (by Appweavers):

Ages:  I’d say about 6 and up (depending on if your little one is a budding naturalist).

I really like this app.  But it is rather dull.  And it takes up a LOT of memory space.  But it is great for detailed information regarding birds, has an audio option for listening to the bird song, has a built-in record-keeping capability if your child likes to keep track of the birds he/she spots during outings or just around the home, and is fact-based and loaded with information.  My only complaint would be that the bird images are drawings, not actual pictures of the birds.  However, when searching for a particular bird, it has the categories of birds broken down so detailed that it’s really a snap for my 8-year old to locate any bird she’s seeking.

Nature Tap (by Green Mountain Digital):

Ages:  If they are interested in birds, insects, spiders, mammals, reptiles, amphibians, or wildflowers, they’ll enjoy this app.

Probably the very best thing I love about this app is the beautiful pictures.  That alone is enough to keep my children engaged.  This is really a fact-based app and isn’t tremendously interactive (think encyclopedia), yet has its uses.  For example, I’ll use this app in conjunction with our Bird Bingo game.  We can look up each bird on the app and have a listen to its song as we play the game.  But I’ve often found my children looking through the pictures of all this app has to offer, I particularly enjoy the wildflowers.  My only complaint about this app is that you cannot search for things by name.  You can search birds (for example) by color, or shape (sub-category such as “Swallow-like Birds”, or “Chicken-like Marsh Birds”, but there is no place for someone to search, or type in “Common Kingfisher”, for ease of reference.  Perhaps this feature is forthcoming (I’m sure it would help if users, such as me, provided feedback to the producers of the app).

Wonders of Geology (by Mikaya Digital):

Ages:  My best guess would be roughly 3^rd grade on up (say 8 or 9 years old and older).

This is app is simply amazing.  Geology 101.  The photography is stunning, breathtaking.  This isn’t a game or interactive, it is a narrative (audio and written).  It touches on the following subjects: Rocks (Sedimentary, Igneous, Metamorphic, Rock Cycle), Plate Tectonics, Erosion (Wind and Water, Mass Movement, Glaciers, Alluvial Fans), and Mountains (with the subcategory of Geological Provinces such as the Appalachian Highlands, Pacific Coast, among others). 

Apps for Geography:

Stack the Countries / Shake the States (by Third Chicken Inc.): 

Ages:  A fairly broad age range, in my opinion.  My 6 year old does quite well at answering questions about the states, and my 8 year old excels at the states, but each have a lot of learning opportunity left with the more challenging Stack the Countries.

In this app the player is asked a series of questions  - such as capitals of countries (states), official languages of countries, where the country is located (or what state border which state), landmarks locations, recognizing countries (states) based on their shape.  Each time you answer the question correctly, you get to drag the country (state) you’ve earned and try to stack it on top of the country (state) that you’ve already earned.  The point is to stack the countries (states) on top of one another in order to reach a predetermined height without making the stack tumble (the player is able to manipulate the state by turning it to make it more stackable).  Points are earned, scores kept, and you advance to the next level.  Super fun!  I love this game, and there is a high education value to it, which makes it a joy for all.                   

US Capitals – Montessori Approach to Geography (by Rantek): 

Ages:  Probably 5 through 9 or 10 years old

This is a nice mellow app.  Which is why I love it.  And why my kids don’t really play with it.  (Hard to compete with some of the other flashier-catchier apps, but still a worthy app)  This is a fact-based app that just gives it straight.  No points for right answers, no advancement to the next level.  … very Montessorial.  Yes. 

Google Earth:

Ages:   5 years and up (younger with a parent sitting beside)

Have your children look up famous volcanoes, highest peaks, or Death Valley…. and move on to the Seven Wonders of the World.  Then you can give them a list of addresses to Grandmas and Grandpas, Aunts and Uncles, and let them loose.  Great for just playing around with!

Apps for Art:

Art Puzzle (Lite or Full Version, by MacPhun LLC):

Ages:  3 years old and up (or thereabouts)

This app is just delightful.  I love it.  My children love it.  In the Lite version (that is to say, the FREE version) there are 15 puzzles, in the Full version there are over 80 puzzles from the most famous artists.  Artists include Van Gogh, Botticelli, Gauguin, Modigliani, and others.  You can make changes to the settings so that you can have a 4 piece jigsaw puzzle to solve, or have the famous painting be a 100 piece jigsaw puzzle (depending on skill).  You select the painting that you want to piece together, such as Bal du Moulin del Galette from Renoir, then you’re set to do the puzzle (all the while listening to classical music).  This is my dream app.  I love it.  I can actually see my children’s brains become enriched while they play with this app. J

Apps that aren’t subject based:

Tozzle (… I don’t know who this one is by): 

Ages:  Preschool, Kindergarten, First Grade–ish.

This is really like 20 apps in one.  There are animal activities, numbers, letters, shapes, colors, puzzles, silly scenes, music, nursery rhymes, farms, fruit and veggies.   It’s endless.  And the app music is catchy J

Fish School:

Ages:  Preschool, Kindergarten-ish. 

This cute app lets your little one explore their letters, numbers, shapes, and colors … all set to the tune of classical music.  Love this app.  When I hear the music and see that my 4 year old has started playing it, I just smile.

Memory Train:

Ages:  Preschool, Kindergarten.

This app is just what the name suggests – helping your child remember things.  As the train goes by your child needs to remember things such as shapes and colors and them place them on a “new” train as you saw them on the train that went by.

Brain Pop:

Ages:  This really depends on the subject of the video.  Some of the subjects are more complex (such as Math – dealing with probability), and some subjects are just fine for the younger crowd (such as learning music, and famous artists).

In a nutshell, this is an animated video app that offers a large selection of free videos but also offers a subscription based option that provides even more videos.  There are hundreds of animated videos for your children to view.  The subjects seem almost limitless and I’m still amazed at how broad the app is.  We began with the free version and then moved onto the subscription based version and have found it to be totally worth it.  The app also offers quizzes as well, where your child can keep his or her score.  The videos also cover subjects such as US History and Economics.  This is a comprehensive video selection, and each video is more or less an introduction to the subject, but my children have learned quite a bit on a wide variety of topics.

Reading Rainbow: 

Ages:  All ages

This app is a subscription-based book and video library, and is based on the long-running television show that even I watched as a child.  The book library has several subjects: Action Adventure & Magical Tales, Genius Academy, Awesome People, National Geographic Kids, Animal Kingdom, My Friends and My Family, and within each subject there are hundreds of books and several dozen videos to watch.  Reading Rainbow is constantly adding more books and videos to read and watch.  Your child has the option to have the book read to them by simply pressing the audio symbol, or they can read to the book to themselves.  All my children enjoy this app, and I feel good about having it available for them.

English Cursive Letter Practice (from Brainstop): 

Ages:  Probably 6 or 7 years old and up (really, depending on interest and whether or not this is a skill you’re working on with your child)

This app is just that, an opportunity to practice cursive writing.  It includes upper and lower case letters, words, sentences, and numbers.  Nothing fancy, just some good ole fashioned handwriting practice.

Letter School (by Boreaal):

Ages:  3 years old and up

Handwriting practice that is actually fun.  Nothing short of a miracle here.

I love how the iPad has enhanced the learning culture within our home.  I absolutely embrace it.  As I discover more apps and as I download more apps, I’ve found that it’s been most beneficial for my children if I try to keep the app icons organized and grouped together with apps that are alike or those that are in the same subject category.  Another handy feature is how iCloud stores your apps for you, even if you decide to delete the app from the screen (if you go to App Store and then “purchased”, you’ll see a running list of all the apps you’ve downloaded, even if they are free).  I’ve found this to be helpful because I can clean up our touch screens and add and delete apps from the screens depending on how often my girls use them (… similar to how I like to keep our book basket fresh by rearranging books every now and again). 

I would love to hear what your favorite apps are and why you like them!

with needle & thREAD

In the sewing world, we're still kind of crazy about headbands. I told Katie that I'm fairly certain that every female who has come through our door this week has left with a headband. And all my girls have at least two each. The headbands have inspired me to clean out my scrap basket. I had saved pretty much every scrap since I started sewing a couple years ago. Now, the only pieces in the box are pieces large enough to use for a headband or some other such project. I recognize that my days of piecing quilts from tiny scraps are too many years away to justify the mess those scraps make in my scrap basket.

Speaking of the tidying baskets, not much reading is happening here these days. I have been cleaning and organizing like crazy this week and listening instead of reading. Several of you asked for links to good listening. Lately, I've been listening to Andrew Pudewa:

Nature Deficit Disorder

Teaching Boys & Other Children Who Would Rather Make Forts All Day

The Four Language Arts

Nurturing Competent Communicators

Fairytales and the Moral Imagination

I admit to crying not far into that last one. I'm a big fan of fairytales. Suggesting them to homeschoolers has not always been a happily-ever-after experience for me. It was nice to be among friends.

All of these talks have been excellent. I don't think I've learned anything new, philosophically speaking. I'm not going to drastically change the way we do things around here. Instead, there has been a sense of kinship. Here are folks who speak my language (far better than I speak it). These methods work. They do. And they are sound and they are faithful. 

I pulled out my copy of Tending the Heart of Virtue to re-read. Amazon tells me I purchased it in 2008. I remember buying it at the recommendation of Katherine, shortly after the first online firestorm of protestations against the way I was educating my children. After the second firestorm, three years ago, I stepped away from homeschool groups--both online and any place else. It's hard enough to raise a family that is in the world but not of the world of the secular culture. Why heap onto that feeling like a pariah in homeschool circles, too? There's no upside. Homeschoolers have so many hot buttons; seems pretty easy to set off an alarm every other day.

I'm not interested in dissent. 

But here's the curious thing. After three years away from all those "support" groups, I have a deeply rooted sense of confidence in what is happening in my home. It doesn't come from someone else's affirmation--not even Andrew Pudewa's affirmation. It comes from looking back on how I've spent the last 25 years and knowing that I gave my best to God. I made mistakes every single day. I still make mistakes every single day. But I sought His will and I answered His call as best I could.

One of my favorite phrases when sharing with other homeschooling moms is "In our family..." It's the ultimate caveat perhaps. This is what works in our family, with our children, and our husband and father. Your mileage my a vary. God may have put you in another vehicle altogether.

I love to talk with young moms about home education. I love to share what I've learned along the way and I love to hear the enthusiasm and utter joy in their voices. Young moms have an idealism that reminds me of newly wed idealism. You know, when you look back and wonder at the miracle of how you dared to marry someone and make a whole new family? How did you get so brave? You need that same courage and idealism to embark upon home education. I love to watch and listen to it. It is such a gift.

Two of my dearest, closest, and most forever friends aren't going to homeschool in the coming year. These were my two phone calls or visits for the quick "I hardly have to say it and she already gets it." Women who have held my hand--literally--in some of the scariest places I've ever been. Last night had me wondering at the aloneness of it all. Endeavoring to educate one's children in your own home, taking on that entire challenge for nine kids over twelve years each? That's a formidable task.

We all need kindhearted, holy support. Let's be that to one another. 

What are you sewing, reading. Heck, what are you cleaning and organizing? How are you preparing for the next season? What makes you happy? About what are you excited? It's a free-for-all. Just talk.

The Ideal Early Childhood Education

In this time of extraordinary pressure, educational and social, perhaps a mother's first duty to her children is to secure for them a quiet and growing time, a full six years of passive receptive life, the waking part of it for the most part spent out in the fresh air.

~Charlotte Mason

I hesitate to call this post "the kindergarten post." There have been lots of notes requesting "The Kindergarten Post." So, if you've been asking, this is it. Sort of. But more accurately, this is the starting to think through "Learning at Home with 3-6-Year-Olds" post.

I had several opportunities to observe and teach in many different settings while in college and right after graduation. The three that I look upon most fondly all had quite a few things in common. One of those things stands out: they considered the "kindergarten year" to be more than one year.

In the two private school settings (each of a different philosophy), children were grouped in "family groupings" and a class was composed of children who were three to six years old. In the public school setting, I taught in a "transitional first grade," a class specifically designed to give children a three year kindergarten and first grade experience. In all three settings, there were very bright children who were still "technically" kindergartners during their six-year-old year. And in all three settings, children were peaceful. These were three settings that considered the integrated development of the child and weighted social and emotional growth equally or more heavily than academic growth.

Karoline has been talking incessantly about kindergarten.  A couple of months ago she asked her daddy if she is in kindergarten now. He shot me a quizzical look and I nodded. We pay very little attention to "grades" around here. If she wants to say she's in kindergarten, she certainly can. And she is. She's four. In this house, kindergarteners are between three and six years old. {Interestingly, one of the big indicators for first grade readiness in all three of the programs above was the loss of baby teeth, also called the change of teeth. Not sure why I put that there. Couldn't find another place to mention it.}

So, Karoline is officially in kindergarten. And since Sarah Annie will be three in late October. (Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither.) She will soon be in "kindergarten," too. I asked Karoline early last week what she wanted to learn in kindergarten. She was sitting all curled up on the blue chair in the room that has become our craft studio. I was sewing. The reply came quickly, "I want to learn to sew." Well, ok, we can do that. We'll learn together.

I had a hunch. So I did a little experiment.

The next time I asked Karoline what she wanted to learn in kindergarten, I was cooking. She wants to learn to cook.

I began to futher test my theory.

I'm knitting. She wants to "knit better."

I'm dusting. She wants to polish furniture.

I'm doing laundry. She wants to learn to fold socks "the tricky way."

If I'm doing it, she wants to learn to do it. And if it has to do with bringing order and beauty to her environment, all the better. She is sensitive to order and beauty in her world right now. 

And so she shall work alongside me, both of us using our hands. Whether we call it "practical life"  or  "life skills," little ones should be spending lots of time doing meaningful activities with their hands. They should learn to use real tools (whether knitting or sewing or cooking or woodworking or vacuuming dust bunnies) carefully and to return their environments to order every single time. And those environments? 

.

Those environments, the ones in which peaceful children thrive, are thoughtfully prepared. They don't have to be special child-sized rooms; they just have to be rooms where children are welcomed and considered. They have to be spaces where children come alongside an adult who cares and learns what it is to be a compassionate, empathetic, to respect space and boundaries, to care for the small environment that he shares with his immediate community.

In two of the three environments I mentioned above, the schools strive as much as possible to create "homelike" spaces. There is intentional "family grouping," which means classes of children aged two-and-a-half up to and including age six. Those of us who educate at home already have the underpinnings of the best early childhood school environment. We have a home atmosphere and we have family groupings.

The goal within the environment probably should be clearly defined in our minds, though, even at home, maybe especially at home. We must be intentional, lest the opportunities slip through our fingers. And we must be patient. This is not about barreling through a checklist of academic proficiencies. There is a movement afoot to accelerate through academics. Is he reading yet? Can he work equations? Is his handwriting clear ? What grade is he in?

Those are not the questions of my intentions in the early childhood years. I close my ears to them. Because they are not true to my own sense of what is valuable for our family. When I first started homeschooling, a generation ago now, I was primarily motivated by the opportunity to spend our days learning together as a family.  I had taught in classrooms. Some quite good, some really awful. The idea of  family groupings so appealed to me in college that I did a senior honors project on it. Little did I know back then that the idea would grow organically in my home. We were creating our own family grouping in our own nurturing environment. We wanted to teach them to think creatively, to pursue their passions, to wonder and watch. And Mike and I both firmly believed in providing the time. Time. The desire to homeschool grew out of a life-changing experience. I talked at length in this old piece on preschool about what cancer taught me about time and young children. Really, none of this will make much sense unless you read that. 

Our primary goal in this home, with these children, is not academic excellence. It is time. 

Our primary goal is living a life of faith wholeheartedly together as a family. Our primary goal is to give them time for intimate relationships--with God, with nature, with art, with literature, with science, with us. This is what we have chosen. It is what is right for our family--for this husband and wife and the children God has given them.

Please don't misunderstand. I think academic excellence is a worthy endeavor. I just don't think my children need to get a leg up on algebra in the second grade at the expense of time in relationship to other significant people. Instead of the academic questions above, the questions framed in our home are, "Is he managing his time well?" "Does he listen to his siblings when they talk or just barrel over them?" "Is he orderly?" "Does he respect boundaries?" "Does he ask thoughtful questions?" "Is his speech sprinkled liberally with familiar references to God?" "Can he still himself and listen and watch with ears and eyes wide with wonder?" "Does he care?"

I believe that if I can work towards the affirmative in those questions in the early years, the academic success will come. And it will come with social, emotional and spiritual peace. 

Can he read? It matters not just yet. And if he can, well, then, good for him. Let him read--just don't cram stories down his throat with endless required booklists and a hurry-up demeanor.

Can he wonder? Is he curious? Do we have time to just sit and watch and ponder aloud together? We will read to him, yes, and that sense of story will serve him well when it is time to learn to read. But even more importantly, just now, that world of books will pique his curiosity. He will be motivated to learn. He will care that he can find in books what he wants to know.

I live in the most highly educated corner of the country, according to some studies. The pressure on children to excel academically is real and palpable. From very young ages, some local children are carted from one "opportunity" to the next by intellectually eager parents, all with the primary intention to assure admission to the finest universities. How they will be presented on a college application is buzzing in the minds of children before they even enter grade school. It's all about getting in--even in preschool. It's all about proving oneself smarter and more accomplished. It's all about getting ahead of the other guy, jostling for position, one-upping academically. 

I'm not anti-competition. Ahem. I think we can all agree that my kids compete. And I totally think we should nurture gifts. The real world is full of competition. But I'm adamantly opposed to sacrificing innocence and wonder and childhood joy to the grown-up agenda of beating out the other guy. I'm opposed to sacrificing family life to the building of a child's academic curriculum vitae. A child has an opportunity to be a child just once.  I don't think we should squander childhood by thrusting children into the competitive marketplace too soon.

My friend and college study buddy, Jan, was here last week and we were reminiscing about former students. There was a little boy who was in one of the 3-6 programs mentioned above when he was pre-school age. He was my student. And he was incredibly bright. Brilliant. His parents were academics and it was clear that the priority for his education was to be the smartest. Blessed with abundant natural intelligence, he was very, very, very smart. But he couldn't remember to replace his coat on the hook after time outdoors. He never played with the other children. He rarely would look me in the eye when he spoke. 

He left the 3-6 program to begin official kindergarten in another school. Coincidentally, he was in Jan's first kindergarten class. He was younger than most of the other children and she still remembers that he asked her if they were going to study plate tectonics. His intellectual achievement had so outpaced his social and emotional growth that he was seriously out of balance. Her major goal for him that year was to get him to play without awkwardness and to carry on conversations with his peers. 

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There is a healing, a growing, a creating that happens in a child's play and in meaningful work done with his hands alongside a nurturing adult. They can catch up if they fall behind in math. I'm not sure you can ever restore to a child what is lost if they are not allowed the innocence of non-competitive, wholehearted play. If they miss out on plenty of unplanned time in a thoughtful environment. If they are too busy for large quantities of time with adults who love him unconditionally. If no one safeguards freedom within limits to learn about himself first. I'm not sure a child ever recovers from intense academic pressure that can lead them to think that their value is directly correlated to their proven, measurable academic conquests. There is so much more to the education of a child. There is a weaving of the social, emotional, intellectual and spiritual that comes of plenty of time with quality materials, working with their hands, absorbing the good from a nurturing environment. There is a value unmatched in an imagination fed by quiet wonder.

Unhurried childhood is a window of opportunity and it is much, much more valuable and much, much smaller that many people recognize. It's irreplaceable. So we don't skip it.

Gosh, I've gone on for a long time and still not gotten to the nitty gritty. I will, in God's time, no doubt. No rushing;-)

Actually, if you're eager to read more right now, there is this series from five years ago (oh my goodness, how cute was Katie when she was three?!):

It's a wonderful thing!

The Art Box

Language Arts for Little Ones

Number Fun

Leading Little Ones to the Good Shepherd

Practical Life

Oh, and then there is that matter of more than four years worth of books and such for the 3-6 bunch, all organized alphabetically over at Along the Alphabet Path. More suggestions for warm activities and stories at home than anyone would ever need:-)

~~reposted from the archives

Let's Organize Hearth & Home Once and For All! {and some sweet giveaways}.

Good morning! A few weeks ago, I whined mentioned that my email was out of control and my computer was a messed up jumble of inefficient digital chaos. Sarah suggested that I needed a system. Specifically, she encouraged me to look at Paperless Home Organization. And there, I met Mystie Winckler. Now, I want you to meet her, too.

My guest this morning is Mystie Winckler. Mystie is the oldest of seven children, homeschooled from birth through high school, now married for twelve years with five children of her own – ages 10 years to 8 months – whom she homeschools. 

She is the author of Simplified Dinner and Paperless Home Organization, two ingenious publications crammed with tips and systems we all could use. Here's my Saturday morning breakfast chat with Mystie. Please join us (there are some goodies for you at the end)!

What path led you to the work you do today? Tell us about The Great Simplification.

I consider homemaking, mothering, and homeschooling to be my work; my two eBooks are gussied-up versions of projects I did for myself for my own homemaking. I have been blogging as a hobby for about seven years, so writing & selling the eBooks has been an extension of my blogging hobby. By the time I had my third baby over 5 years ago, I'd already tried all sorts of homemaking and menu planning systems and failed at them, but I'd learned a lot-- not only about housekeeping but also about myself. I found that with baby #3 and, at the time, my husband traveling quite a bit, I had zero extra brain cells. It might not have been the best time to undertake a major system overhaul and recreate how I did all things food, but, honestly, I was scared that if I had so little energy and brain power for meals at that point, I would never be able to handle more children and more homeschooling (I was only teaching my oldest phonics at the time). So, I wrote down what I wanted in a menu planning system, and I threw away almost all my recipe card and food magazine collection. The end result, 3 years later, I was able to package up (over the course of another year)  Simplified Pantry as my eBook, but it was a 3 year, real-life process that I did for my own sanity. When I was happy with it, I thought I'd fix it up to give to my newly married sister and a few friends, and in the process, it turned into a pretty and highly practical eBook that has helped hundreds of moms make keeping the pantry full and dinner coming every day much less of a headache and energy drain.

How do you come up with new menu ideas?

 

Actually, I created Simplified Dinners so that I didn't have to do that anymore. :) I sometimes get ideas from food blogs or Pinterest, but I only use new ideas if I feel inspired to do so, and I make myself stick to my basic master pantry list and not buy any special ingredients unless it's for a holiday or birthday. Most days I pick a meal variant from Simplified Dinners (I've been using it for a couple years now, so it's mostly in my head, though I reference my Evernote version a couple times a week still based on what meat I want to use or what vegetables I need to use up. I do a lot of ad libbing as I cook and I never measure, so even though I make the same dinners, they are never quite the same, and making those on-the-fly variations based on what I have fulfills the creative urge and keeps cooking from becoming dull repetition. 

Is your business a family endeavor? How do combine your work and your family life? Are your kids your taste testers? 

 

Yes, my kids are my taste-testers because all my cooking has been done for them first. Recipes for the Simple Pantry Cooking Blog or Simplified Dinners were first real meals for my family on real days. I'm not a real food blogger. I don't have time for extra cooking beyond what I already do – which is a lot! My husband is a software programmer and web developer, so my blogs and webpages are designed by him. He made the covers for both eBooks and also proofread them. He would like to offer products and services online independently someday, so my endeavor is a little guinea pig to find out what it's like to sell intangible goods online in a low-risk way. It's been a fun little adventure!

The hardest part is the draw to always be at my laptop, especially since all my calendars and school plans are there, but I decided to not do social media at all for promotional or personal use, and that has helped curb the time-sucking nature of the internet. It's so easy to bury my head in the quicksand of link-clicking when I don't want to deal with my real life, so that is a temptation I have to always be aware of and fight against.

In your own life, were you always super-organized?

I have always been an administrative type, but not a neat or tidy type. When I was 10 or so, I remember spending long afternoons planning imaginary parties out on paper with lists that I knew would never happen. Over the years, I've tried to leverage my administrative tendencies to help make up for my messy tendencies and my distaste of housekeeping. I have improved a lot over the years in a sink-or-swim fashion rather than a carefully methodical way. I've finally realized that, unfortunately, "getting organized" is exactly the same as "cleaning the house": It's often a big project, and even when it's "done," it's never actually done - it has to be maintained. Moreover, it will soon have to be a project again. 

How does organization enhance creativity? 

Honestly, the most significant way organization enhances creativity is that you know where things are, so you don't spend time hunting for them or repurchasing items that were in your stash. Decluttering and working toward giving everything an intentional home is like turning off a constant white noise track in your mind: you won't realize how much tension and static was there until it's off. You might think the white noise helps, but once you experience silence instead, you'll never call white noise peaceful again. 

What is the single most important piece of organizational advice you can offer to a mother?

 

Organization is being prepared, knowing where things belong, having clear working spaces, and knowing what needs to be done. It is not having color-coded, cutesy bins in all your closets. It is not necessarily pinterest-perfect. Organization means your stuff and your house is ready to use, not that it always looks ordered and impressive. Don't be discouraged if it gets used. Using the stuff and the house is the point, not keeping it constantly just-so.

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Gosh, I like Mystie! The italics above are mine, because I think what she said is brilliant and I want it to stand out in my very visual brain. 

Now, it's your turn. Leave a comment below and tell me your best organization tip or ask your most pressing organizational question. Comments enter you to win one of two copies of Simplified Dinner (there's a gluten free, dairy free version, too) or one of three copies of Paperless Home Organization. I promise to ponder your questions and Mystie will be back here early next week to chime in, too. And of course, if you can answer someone else's question, we're all the better for it, so please do!

Both eBooks at Mystie's site 30% off for readers here. Just use the code heartofmyhome.

The winner is Patty, who said, 

If your children leave something out (food, dirty dish, the lid for the empty container they just threw away) make them come back and put it away even if it would be easier for you to do it. One day they will realize it will be easier for them to just do it now instead of have mom interrupt them later.