About Homemaking

I'm still working my way through very old mail. There is a recurrent theme there, one of questions about homemaking routines and chores and such. Perhaps I can answer several of those at once.

When I set about to be intentional about keeping my home clean and orderly, I began by defining for myself what constituted clean and orderly. I put myself in the shoes of an eight- or ten-year-old child and made a detailed list of what "job well done" looked like in every room. I did this when my first child was about ten. Those lists have undergone some changes over the years. We've moved and rooms have been repurposed and there was that year when I was using all those vinegar cleaners. After we learned that we were breeding fruit flies in all our drains because they just love vinegar, all the "wet" directions were completely overhauled. Still, the work and the thought of all those years ago stands me in good stead today.

My house is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. My friend Linda loves to remind me that it's never a day away from company ready, though. What she means is that we do live in it and on most days there is evidence of such life, but if I had to, I could stop on any given morning and have it ready for company by day's end. That means that if I have a sense on any day that Mike is having a bad day and that coming home to a house that looks like it's ready for company would be a blessing, I can do that (given enough notice). That's my measure of acceptable.

So, what do the lists look like? The first drafts were just ordinary Word documents. The latest version reflects Mary Beth under the influence of Katherine. They're very pretty. I'm not sure how much use the PDFs will be, because every home and family is different in the details, but here they are. 

Download Chores1(2)

Download Acleankitchen

Download Basement

Download Livingroom and Diningroom

Download Mudroom,office,foyer,bathroom,stairs

I keep a copy of each of them in my master notebook. Then, I post one in every room. The bathroom list is inside the cabinets in the bathroom. The kitchen list is on the fridge. The bedroom lists are inside the bedroom doors. The mudroom/office/foyer/bathroom one is in the office that is sort of central to that whole area. They aren't really for public perusal, but the child sent to clean a room knows where to look to be certain that his idea of clean and my idea of clean are one in the same.

Finally, there is a chart of chore assignments. It's pretty simple, or it was before Paddy left. We still struggle for manpower at the top. Truth be told, I'm mostly absorbing his jobs. Michael will return home for a season or so after graduation in December. Patrick will be home after the World Cup in June. I haven't made a new chore chart for this fall. There's probably some deep psychological issue at play here;-), but I've noticed that Mary Beth, happy-maker-of-charts, hasn't hastened to do it either. Something about deleting someone from the rhythm of family life that makes it seem so permanent. Whatever. Your family looks different than mine anyway, so you won't care if Patrick's on the chart or not, right?

Chorelist

Comments are open, because I'll never get to the mail:-)

Nesting List

Edited version: Thanks to those of you who have noticed I've been silent here. I hope to be back soon. I appreciate your prayers and kind emails. Nothing terrible is happening here. Just lots and lots of little details. I've made great progress on my list (though I admit I probably need new list for things that have crept up since;-) . I'm updating here today, but refraining from adding all the new things because, quite frankly, for one day, I'd like to hold onto the illusion of forward progress;-)

What is it about me that makes me think I need to have my house perfectly in order to have a baby? Partly, it's history. The times when I've left an ordered house at home and gone to deliver have been my best labors and deliveries. Coincidence? Maybe. But after eight such experiences, I'll take it as science around here. And then there's the postpartum period.  The more organized I am, the better things go. Absolutely. When one flirts with postpartum depression every time and has met it on occasion, this is a big, big incentive to get one's act together.  This time, the threat of bedrest has accelerated the nesting stage.

Fortunately, last winter, I thought we were moving. So, I did some major de-cluttering and organizing. We were in pretty good shape. For about three weeks. And then, I was pregnant. I spent the first nineteen weeks of this pregnancy in the throes of severe nausea and vomiting. I didn't move much. I didn't clean as well as I would like; didn't supervise as much as needed. I did, however, devote a great deal of time to things I could do while sitting very, very still. I planned most of my lessons in great detail and I reorganized my home notebook. Then, I lost the notebook files in the lightning strike. I'm slowly reworking them on the new computer. Now, I have seven weeks to kick it all into gear and put the plans in motion. Then, if bedrest isn't necessary, I could be in very good shape moving into the third trimester. And if it is necessary, we'll do just fine. So, here, for accountability and curiosity purposes is the list;chances are it will get longer before it gets shorter:

  • bedroom switch: girls
  • bedroom switch: boys
  • shop for Michael's dorm
  • help Michael with menus and groceries
  • get Michael off to school
  • reorganize picture books
  • clean out bookbags
  • re-stock bookbags
  • replenish school supplies (tax free weekend Aug 1-3)
  • completely de-clutter learning room (Did this but it needs doing again already.)
  • reorganize DVD/video closet
  • clean out refrigerator top to bottom; disinfect
  • clean out indoor freezer
  • defrost deep freeze
  • stock freezer
  • clean out pantries
  • re-stock pantries
  • clean mudroom
  • laundry caught up
  • clean out closets
  • wash baby clothes and fill drawers
  • order more diapers
  • new changing table pad
  • shop and wrap Christmas presents
  • wipe out inside of all kitchen cabinets
  • paint kitchen
  • paint trim in sunroom
  • paint sunroom?
  • paint basement
  • basement trim
  • family room trim
  • craft/storage room organized
  • toys organized in the basement
  • new ballet schedule/teacher
  • new soccer teams
  • organize sports driving schedule
  • update religious exemption filing
  • all kids to dentist
  • all kids to orthodontist
  • find a new pediatrician
  • dog to the vet (We did this but he needs a re-check. Not sure when I'll get to that since Michael was doing the vet visits and he's not due back until Thanksgiving;-)
  • finish lesson plans through January
  • write columns ahead of deadlines
  • clean out the garage
  • add new lasagna layer to front bed (Waiting for the weather to cool a bit and I'll combine this with fall planting.)
  • add new lasagna layer to roses

Saturday


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Did some major organizing today, all the sitting down kind:-). It was a sort of a combination of the home notebook ideas and all Dawn's file crate ideas. It helped me clear all this "stuff" out of my head and into its place so that I can do some serious work at my "new" desk this coming week. At least that's what I'm telling myself as I procrastinate and ponder a deadline more than conquer it. (I just might clean that computer screen. It doesn't look like that in real life--who knew;-)?)

My Very Last Calendar-Home Companion Book Post (for now;-)

I've been thinking a lot about planning and organizing and writing it all down. I love lists. So, I've been thinking, thinking, thinking. I've been thinking while I drive and thinking while I vacuum and thinking while I sort a million boxes of out-size, out-season clothes. I've been thinking while I pack up some of the Christmas decorations, thinking while I clean out my closet (which previously held all the Christmas chaos), thinking while I de-clutter and streamline the learning room. I've been thinking while I go to ballet, to basketball, to indoor soccer, to outdoor soccer. That's a lot of thinking. And the thing I think the most is that whatever I commit to paper or 'puter, it's got to be simple because for all my thinking, there's just not a whole lot of time to write it all down. In this family, we've been open to life for twenty years and now, our house is teeming with life, thank God. So, mostly my thinking has been limited to what's working, because, frankly, I haven't time to waste on what's not working. Let's just go with what's good enough and get on with the show. For 2008, "good enough" is the new excellent.

It's working to divide that original Home Companion Book into three:  The Faith Book, The Kitchen Book, and The Home Management Book. There are calendars specific to each of them and that works just fine. I guess there should be a book for "school," but honestly it's all in the computer and it's much less cluttered there.

In the Faith Book, there are dividers for every month and a divider for  Lent and the Easter season (since those don't fit neatly into a particular month). Behind each divider, I am saving novena prayers, tea and a craft ideas and craft of the week ideas, and ideas from other bloggers. I'm printing from Catholic Culture as necessary and making notes of my own middle of the night inspiration. I have found that when a great idea appears on my computer screen, it helps me enormously to cut and paste it to a Word document and print it. Then, I put it in the binder and I try very hard to let go of any guilt it has inspired. If it is possible for me to get to that great idea and put it into action in my house in the near future, I do. If not, I know it's there. It won't disappear if the website does. It is not urgent. If it's a great idea this year, it will still be a great idea next year. Or when I no longer have a nursing baby. Or when I'm looking for something wonderful and creative and nurturing to do with my grandchildren. The liturgical year goes around and around and around again. Ever old, ever new. We don't have to do it all today; we can save some for later. That's the beauty of the binder. No guilt.

Another component of the faith binder is a page with the Mother's Liturgy of the Hours, taken from Holly's Notebook. Here's where I've sketched out a general rhythm of prayer. Again, the plan is in place, but it sure would be a shame if I made myself unavailable for a child who needed me or cranked up the cranky to meet the schedule, thereby sinning in order to pray. God knows that good enough is the new excellent.

The Kitchen Book holds all the things it did when it was a section in the big book, now updated to reflect the current state of my kitchen.

  • a Basic Kitchen Inventory Download healthy_kitchen_basic_inventory.1.doc which I use to generate a grocery list
  • A weekly menu. Yes, this used to be a three week cycle menu. No longer. Now, it is the epitome of boring simplicity. It works for me. The grocery buying is fine tuned to the point that I do my co-op ordering and then I can send a teenaged boy into Costco and have him emerge with the week's groceries eighteen minutes later. That's pretty streamlined:-). I cook. I love to cook. But I'd rather spend my time in the roll-up-your-sleeves, tie-on-your-apron place than in front of the computer or the cookbooks planning meal after meal. If I can get a homecooked meal on the table every night and feed everyone reasonable lunches and dinners, that's good enough. And good enough is the new excellent, remember?
  • All the recipes that go with the meals in the cycle menu are in the kitchen book which is kept in the kitchen:-).
  • The co-op order form (we order all our poultry, eggs, butter and many dry goods from a Virginia farm once a month) is in the kitchen book so that I can make pen and paper notes during the month. Ordering happens online.
  • An inventory of all the food in the upright freezer (twice a year, we order a side of beef) is kept current (or as current as possible when midnight marauders eat steak surreptitiously and think no one will notice).
  • Then, there is a calendar section to this binder, too. Here's where the seasonal recipes go. The pumpkin cake we always have on Halloween, the Seder dinner recipes, the Easter menu and recipes and directions for the lamb cake, the peppermint bark recipe--it's all here ready to remind me and to take the stress out of continuing traditions.
  • Finally, I've included diet diary forms from Holly Pierlot's Mother's rule of Life Workbook. It's helpful for me to see exactly what I'm putting in my mouth. 'Nuff said there.

The idea here for me is to commit it to paper once and then let it go from my brain. I'm not going to think about what to have for dinner on Monday night until the seasons change again. I'm finished thinking about it. I'm not going to think through a grocery list. If the menu plan isn't perfect (and it isn't), it's adequate and everyone is growing well. So, I'm moving away from the plans and onto the real world in my kitchen.

The Home Management notebook is remarkably unchanged since the original post.
I did download Motivated Moms 2008 schedule. For $8, it's a bargain. It isn't adequate to cover the housekeeping needs of a family my size in a house like mine, but it's a good start. I refer to it in order to update my weekly chore list with things that I might not have considered. Since the original post  I  have re-written the chore chart to reflect the departure of my greatest asset (Michael left for college).For the children, having the chores committed to paper is crucial. There is no confusion about whose night it is to clean the kitchen or whether the family room needs vacuuming. For me, the discipline most required is self-discipline. I know better than to expect what I don't inspect. I need to do a whole lot of inspecting.

Finally, there's the Home Education component to calendars. Sigh. I heard it once said that homeschoolers don't put their children in schools because they can't find an adequate algebra program, they put them in schools because they can't find a pair of matching socks. I cannot tell you how many times that sentiment has echoed in my head as my husband has tried to pack for a business trip. What is it with laundry?? Really. What is it? All the Catholic homemaking systems have to work at least reasonably well or the final component --the education at home component--just doesn't happen. It has helped me to take the chore list and the diet diary sheet and the weekly menu and do the clipboard thing. I have a million kids.I need to think things through carefully and then I need visual reminders. What is most important on that clipboard is a global checklist of all the possible school things they could or should be doing and who could or should be doing them. This is where I'm concentrating. No one is going to be idle because I've got a clipboard and by golly, if they are idle, I'm going to whop them upside the head with it consult the clipboard and gently remind them of what remains to be done.The chart is still in its testing stages, but it looks sort of like this. Download planning_chart.doc

Now, let's get real. The thinking, thinking, thinking is important. I don't think anyone can manage a household and a large family without giving earnest thought to goals and routines. We need to be thoughtful; we need to consider constantly where we are and where we want to be. But, we also need to recognize, that, in the words of a wise mother of many, "some stuff is going to happen." Every day, usually several times a day, some stuff is going to happen. And it won't be the stuff on the lists. It will be other stuff. And because of the other stuff, some stuff is going to be undone. The prayerful planning allows us to focus, but it's the willingness to relinquish the plans for the greater good that leaves us open to His abundant grace. And that--that openness--is what it is to truly be open to life.

Visit Red Sea School for the Carnival of Homeschooling and more calendar ideas than you can imagine. I'm not exaggerating; I've never seen such a huge carnival!

I'm in!

Sarah who is making a beautiful Catholic home in the Great Plains has issued a challenge. Here are the parameters:

Strive for these Goals

1. Invite the Blessed Mother to my home. . .daily, with a Memorare for the intention of asking her to visit me as she did her cousin, and to help me keep my eyes toward heaven.

2. Begin my day with a Morning Offering-to offer my all to God

2. Follow a simple organizational routine

3. Take on little things to help our household stay beautiful and joyful.

4. Write about household topics and link others' blogs who are motivational

The Rules:

1. Remember People are more important than things

2. Remember that messes look bigger than they are

3. Small things done in the home can add beauty

4. Stay real: we will never be perfect, especially with children around us

5. Keep a sense of humor

6. Forgive myself for imperfection and limitations, focusing on those thing I do accomplish

7. Persevere

I'm in; are you?