Five Minute Friday: Waking Up

It was not a baby who kept me awake last night, but a ten-year-old boy who tends to obsess about standings and number and brackets. He definitely needed moral support as he watched his carefully constructed bracket splinter into so much basketball kindling. He watched from Mama's bed, burying his head often into his daddy's pillow. It was late when we went to sleep. And I knew that waking would be hard. 

I didn't know it would be momentous.

For twenty-two-plus years, my waking has been to the call of a nursling. And now, even still, that is often the case. But last night, my last baby slept through the night for the very first time. In her own bed. Away from me. She awakened happy and came to me, chattering away about breakfast and hairbows and knitting. She stirred me from sleep and pulled me by the hand and into her day. After breakfast, we sat together on the couch in the early morning light, she with her "knitting," me with mine.

I looked around the room and saw remnants of yesterday's doll play, and impromptu ballet performances, and watercolor rainbows. I smiled at my yarn stash (I have a stash, really?), newly installed in a glass-fronted cabinet repurposed for this shot of fiber beauty. So much childish good yet to play. So much growing in creativity to do together.

And it was good.

So this is what it's like to awaken after 7 hours straight sleep?

I could get used to this.

Got five minutes? Tell us about Waking Up. And then link up over at Gypsy Mama's place (you know you want to go; she has newborn baby pictures there).

Five Minute Friday: On Waiting

I'm joining the Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday today. I love a creative challenge and I never have time for much more than five minutes on Fridays. Lisa-Jo comes up with the prompt and then, I just need to let my fingers walk through five minutes of random thoughts.

On Waiting:

I know Lisa-Jo's waiting so well. Of my nine babies, seven were late. One was born on his due date (and to this day, is the most punctual child on the planet). And then, sweet Sarah, born too early, still had her own brand of waiting. So, waiting for babies I know.

My baby waiting days appear to be over. Sarah is two and a half and I think she's our very last baby. I see her out of the corner of my eye and lately I'm surprised by how much she looks like a little girl, how the baby is fading into fond memory. I don't wish it away. I wouldn't trade this little girl for all the world. But I do sort of keep looking for the baby that I usually introduce to the two-year-old. No baby. Not starting over and falling in love again with someone new.

And now, breath held, I begin a different waiting. I'm waiting to see what He has in store for the next stage of my life. I'm waiting expectantly. But it's a different expectant. I don't really have a vision for this time. I wish I did. I'd always imagined babies in arms, little ones at my knee. And I really relished every minute of life with wee ones. I never stopped to imagine everyone big. Getting bigger. With no one little. So, I wait. I wonder. And I remind myself to trust. Because so far, what He gives me has vastly exceeded my expectations. He's taught me well to wait with joyful hope. To know that life comes. And it is good. Very good.

First Date

Thirty years ago today. We went to the Virginia State High School Basketball Championships. Anyone who remembers that time will know exactly why I laughed until I cried the first time I heard this song.

It all worked out pretty well in the end, though.

I Feel The Most Loved: Five Minute Friday

I'm joining the Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday today. I love a creative challenge and I never have time for much more than five minutes on Fridays. Lisa-Jo comes up with the prompt and then, I just need to give voice to five minutes of thoughts.

This week's prompt is I feel the most loved when

I have Mike's undivided attention and I give him mine. In a house this full, those rare golden moments when we can have a long talk and I know he's listening and thinking and I know I'm listening and thinking and no one interrupts and there is nothing electronic between us, I am reminded of all those late night converesations when we fell in love and I'm assured that we're only deeper and richer into that love. Undivided attention alone--that's the most loved.

A close second is when we are surrounded by a crazy bunch of children. When a toddler throws herself into his arms or mine while a four-year-old lisps her latest grand story and someone needs her knitting unknotted and five or so boys are all commenting on some sports call at once-- And I catch his eye above it all and we know that this is ours. All this love, living, breathing, growing into something so big and beautiful it makes my heart nearly burst.

And then, at night, when it is quiet and they have all settled to sleep, and I am in the middle between big, strong man and sweet-smelling little one and she breathes angels on my face, I fall asleep knowing how much God loves me.

The most.

Go read more dashed off love notes at The Gypsy Mama!

Five Minute Friday

I'm joining the Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday today. I love a creative challenge and I never have time for much more than five minutes on Fridays. Lisa-Jo comes up with the prompt and then, I just need to let my fingers walk through five minutes of random thoughts.

When I look in the mirror I see:

First, I'm so grateful this is not a full length mirror. I tend to avoid those these days. Just looking at the shoulders up. I see asymmetry. I have cowlicks that don't match each other. I have only one ear. On the side with no ear, there's lots of scar tissue where they tried to construct one, so I have a lot less hair on that side. One of my eyes is always open wider than the other.

I have a beauty mark (at least that's what my dad always called it) on my left side. It's right on a dimple, so you can't really see it if I smile.

My teeth are weird. The dentist commented on that recently. Two front teeth--not front and center, the other ones-- came in with little valleys in them. Mabye someday we'll fix that. Right now, I have four kids awaiting full orthodontia. I'm sort of used to my teeth. More important that my ten-year-old can bite properly.

My hair is pretty good. A great deal grayer than this time last year. But I figure I earned those, along with the fine lines around my eyes and the worry creasing my forehead.

My eyes are green. They get greener if I cry. Or wear pink. I wear pink all the time. Not because of my eyes, just because I like pink. Speaking of eyes, I'm totally unproductive if I don't wear my glasses or put my contacts in. I much prefer contacts because glasses don't stay on so well when one only has one ear.

If I squint hard enough, I can see my father in my face. If I squint again, I can see my mother. And if I were blond and blue-eyed, I'd totally see Karoline. Mike always says I look like Karoline. I wish, that when I look in the mirror, I saw what Mike sees when he looks at me. I have a hunch it's much better than what I see.

And that's five minutes.

Visit Gypsy Mama for more five minute creative spurts or to play along. And wish her well--baby girl arriving any day now!